You are an enchanting man
The sweetest man I have ever known
Honey, you know
I never want to take you for granted
You are kind, I won't forget that
When you love me so gently, when you love
I know, you don't hold back
I love your face and each breath you take
To me is Magic, I want to be near you
Warm, your heart, bigger than big
All my love I pour into it, you recieve and return
I love you Honey, Merry Christmas
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Nermal
Rest in peace
My baby girl
My pretty pretty kitty
I love you so much
I'm glad we knew each other
And had the time we did
Many times you comforted me
Purring by my head
Time and time again
You sat next to me while I read
Made me laugh with things you did
Cuddled up, we took a nap
My little baby girl
Fuzzy penguin belly
I will never forget you, best friend
May your dreams be sweet forever
In your nine lives
I hope we find each other again
In my heart, you will remain forever
Best kitty forever
Rest in peace Nermal
I will always miss you!!!!!
Nermal Fuoco
12-13-12
R.I.P.
Mama Baby Girl
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Poker Face
You see me thru eyes, that you wish knew
What to love is
What your choices are, well that is clear
You are a hollow as a vase, yes , and as fragile
I know, we All know, ILL
Not ready still, to face the world
But if not now then when will you?
If you could see what I see
Through eyes that have seen the raw
Bleeding core of self, stand alone and face herself
Well, when you see yourself, is when you will see
Real
When you STAND on your two feet
When you STAND on your two feet and LIE
and Speculate, call it TRUTH
But we all know, it's not
Reputation is solid, words you throw
Hollow and transparent as your SELF
Stand Sick and Lie
Dismiss that thought, like every other you have ever had
Transparent, empty, and without Regret you stand
But Life doesn't lie, and Neither do I
A morality, I uphold for myself
For myself I hold alone, for my actions
Myself is enough to keep the truth in me
For I hold myself Up high
I have worked too hard, to let anything take that away from me
It is light, but it holds my feet to the ground
Rooted as a tree, I stand
I hold MY ground
All that I hold steady, is within me
All that I love I hold, in my embrace
My warm love all my loves need to keep them safe
Safe from harm, our truth sets us free from you
Silently I laugh inside my head, of all you think you hold
When inside it's empty, and all you hold is in front of you
That should be enough, but it's not
Because you are all filled up with lies, and with distaste
Cheats, and lies and names
A house of cards that will crumble under the truth
Your poker face is blank, but let it up
Whats real is here, here in front of you
And all you have should be enough, but you keep filling up
Keep filling up with lies, with drama, with the hate you stir
Your reputation is what it is, you can't change that
Actions don't lie, so fold B
What you have is right in front of your face
Repeat
Repeat
Repeat it doesn't matter what anyone says
Your brain and logic closed for business long ago
In front of the TV you sit, you rot
You couldn't keep your legs shut then, so go find a another bank
I call that a gold digger, always have and my opinion formed long ago
Of people who do it, and who do what you do
That is your reputation I have heard
AND ISN' WHAT WE "HEAR" THE TRUTH
Acording to you is it, according to the file
With your names, and your redundant crazy repution preceding you
Laughing Laughing Laughing so Hard, my face hurts
Among other good things out of the mouth of your offspring
Innocent laughter rings from them, not fear
How dare you take a relationship that God had put in place beween man and sons
Turn it into something UGLY, inside of you this all springs, and UGLINESS lives there
I always tell only things of LOVE when it comes to you and THEM
Not even that respect you grant when you turn them and use them, against there father
SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!
A refreshing thing, for everyone
Who CHOOSE to love them, without any strings
There are many who do, for it is them and only them
Who make them who they are
You are a part of this
And
For the reason for the relationship you have
With my man bear, For I love him
Beyond what any comprehension you will ever have
Based on your reputation and what you did to him
In the past, present NOW
This reputation speaks and when you left you did
Now that is a fact
But you forgot to bring that up in your filing?
Didn't you?
When you lie, and try to pass it off as concern it worries me
Sociopaths do that very same thing, do you know what " concern" means
Do you know what you are even saying when you speak
All I hear is idiocracy
Blahhh Blahh Blahhh
MEE MEE MEE
The same way, I see it
As a three year old, or an adolescent throwing herself a pity party
Your own chemicals need to be examined as I see it, for there is,
According to your LIFE, IMBALANCE
This is fact
What shall we do, as we watch your house of cards come crashing down
I have cried already, I have screamed, I have laughed
It's almost silly, except the law is not
When you open up Pandora's box, you better be ready for what is coming OUT
You better hold down your fort
I am a storm of words, logic, reason and fact
All the things the law will uphold in fact
700 is the number, and you are willing to bet all that you've got
But the way I see it, it's zero next to your name
Not mine, and only you can change it
(That's self worth, not MONEY, i'm sure you missed that)
Except the only thing that matters, it isn't MONEY
it isn't a Poker game, it's life
We will not hold back, just so you know
Here comes a storm, hold down your fort
Hold onto what REALLY MATTERS
What you have already GOT
What to love is
What your choices are, well that is clear
You are a hollow as a vase, yes , and as fragile
I know, we All know, ILL
Not ready still, to face the world
But if not now then when will you?
If you could see what I see
Through eyes that have seen the raw
Bleeding core of self, stand alone and face herself
Well, when you see yourself, is when you will see
Real
When you STAND on your two feet
When you STAND on your two feet and LIE
and Speculate, call it TRUTH
But we all know, it's not
Reputation is solid, words you throw
Hollow and transparent as your SELF
Stand Sick and Lie
Dismiss that thought, like every other you have ever had
Transparent, empty, and without Regret you stand
But Life doesn't lie, and Neither do I
A morality, I uphold for myself
For myself I hold alone, for my actions
Myself is enough to keep the truth in me
For I hold myself Up high
I have worked too hard, to let anything take that away from me
It is light, but it holds my feet to the ground
Rooted as a tree, I stand
I hold MY ground
All that I hold steady, is within me
All that I love I hold, in my embrace
My warm love all my loves need to keep them safe
Safe from harm, our truth sets us free from you
Silently I laugh inside my head, of all you think you hold
When inside it's empty, and all you hold is in front of you
That should be enough, but it's not
Because you are all filled up with lies, and with distaste
Cheats, and lies and names
A house of cards that will crumble under the truth
Your poker face is blank, but let it up
Whats real is here, here in front of you
And all you have should be enough, but you keep filling up
Keep filling up with lies, with drama, with the hate you stir
Your reputation is what it is, you can't change that
Actions don't lie, so fold B
What you have is right in front of your face
Repeat
Repeat
Repeat it doesn't matter what anyone says
Your brain and logic closed for business long ago
In front of the TV you sit, you rot
You couldn't keep your legs shut then, so go find a another bank
I call that a gold digger, always have and my opinion formed long ago
Of people who do it, and who do what you do
That is your reputation I have heard
AND ISN' WHAT WE "HEAR" THE TRUTH
Acording to you is it, according to the file
With your names, and your redundant crazy repution preceding you
Laughing Laughing Laughing so Hard, my face hurts
Among other good things out of the mouth of your offspring
Innocent laughter rings from them, not fear
How dare you take a relationship that God had put in place beween man and sons
Turn it into something UGLY, inside of you this all springs, and UGLINESS lives there
I always tell only things of LOVE when it comes to you and THEM
Not even that respect you grant when you turn them and use them, against there father
SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!
A refreshing thing, for everyone
Who CHOOSE to love them, without any strings
There are many who do, for it is them and only them
Who make them who they are
You are a part of this
And
For the reason for the relationship you have
With my man bear, For I love him
Beyond what any comprehension you will ever have
Based on your reputation and what you did to him
In the past, present NOW
This reputation speaks and when you left you did
Now that is a fact
But you forgot to bring that up in your filing?
Didn't you?
When you lie, and try to pass it off as concern it worries me
Sociopaths do that very same thing, do you know what " concern" means
Do you know what you are even saying when you speak
All I hear is idiocracy
Blahhh Blahh Blahhh
MEE MEE MEE
The same way, I see it
As a three year old, or an adolescent throwing herself a pity party
Your own chemicals need to be examined as I see it, for there is,
According to your LIFE, IMBALANCE
This is fact
What shall we do, as we watch your house of cards come crashing down
I have cried already, I have screamed, I have laughed
It's almost silly, except the law is not
When you open up Pandora's box, you better be ready for what is coming OUT
You better hold down your fort
I am a storm of words, logic, reason and fact
All the things the law will uphold in fact
700 is the number, and you are willing to bet all that you've got
But the way I see it, it's zero next to your name
Not mine, and only you can change it
(That's self worth, not MONEY, i'm sure you missed that)
Except the only thing that matters, it isn't MONEY
it isn't a Poker game, it's life
We will not hold back, just so you know
Here comes a storm, hold down your fort
Hold onto what REALLY MATTERS
What you have already GOT
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Lovely Literature
The waste you spew, I distaste
It leaves nothing but air, broken
Weak, and with no self respect to collect
That's where you failed, you forgot
You dismissed dignity, and without
You wither, you waste
You take up space, and space to fill
With what
Rot you are, and I know
I have some hate
I need to purge it, here onto this page
You forgot how to BE a long long time ago, and with that
Logic collapsed, disappeared long ago
With your brains, synapse
Collapsed with your class, that never happened
Now too late, you have no where to go
Stay away from here, this place we hold dear
This place we call home, you can't come
We are not scared, for we have nothing to fear
When all is revealed, how sad to see
That your words mean nothing, and neither do you
Not here, in this house, and never will you be asked back here
If action and proof doesn't back than your cracked
Your threats hay, empty they burn and burn and burn
Don't play with fire, it might come back to haunt you
Stay away, stay away
( Never goes away)
What we have here, is solid as a rock
Solid and circular, for it has no beginning and no end
Our love is one thing that's sure, even as we shout
That is what we know, what we hold true
Words with love are the ones that pass through our mouth
We don't degrade each other, it's REAL
This to the heavens I thank and I shout
So if you want to know, let me tell you
Only in yourself will you find ridiculous delusions
Only in your face will you see your eyes and the lies they tell to BE
Only you can change, what I see
Obviously, is (well) we won't say
Even though I am having a day, a day of rhyme, and day of reason
A day of hate, when red burns so hot it's blue
My heat boils and snaps, like lava
Hotter than hot, and covering all that I choose
NOT YOU
I am logic, and a rock of reason
Qualities you don't possess
Then cools, to the soft touch of love and white ice
The rights you have now, could boil could stew
Everything you take for granted could be gone tomorrow, don't blink
It might disappear, than what do you do?
Where do you go when it all disperses, to the only place you have
That is you, and where will you go?
Maybe then you will look to yourself, look inside
See what is making you do, what you do
Where will you take yourself when you make what you make?
What life you end up in, when you take all you can take?
What you have taken, you can have
Keep it, it's yours, nobody wants its rottenness stinking allure
For it's nothing but lies, all that you have told
In a manner that's not direct, but rather round about
The ending is clear, you have nothing
You want to protect what you have
What you care about for YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU
Yes, I know all about you
Your selfish desires
Now you don't know who you are, or what to do
So you are sitting and stewing, and trying to survive
You look here you look there, to strengthen your tenuous ties
But that won't work now, you see, you took it all
Boiled the children for stew, now there is none left for him
Or for him, or for whoever you choose to suckle from, the waste you are
Is clear
It leaves nothing but air, broken
Weak, and with no self respect to collect
That's where you failed, you forgot
You dismissed dignity, and without
You wither, you waste
You take up space, and space to fill
With what
Rot you are, and I know
I have some hate
I need to purge it, here onto this page
You forgot how to BE a long long time ago, and with that
Logic collapsed, disappeared long ago
With your brains, synapse
Collapsed with your class, that never happened
Now too late, you have no where to go
Stay away from here, this place we hold dear
This place we call home, you can't come
We are not scared, for we have nothing to fear
When all is revealed, how sad to see
That your words mean nothing, and neither do you
Not here, in this house, and never will you be asked back here
If action and proof doesn't back than your cracked
Your threats hay, empty they burn and burn and burn
Don't play with fire, it might come back to haunt you
Stay away, stay away
( Never goes away)
What we have here, is solid as a rock
Solid and circular, for it has no beginning and no end
Our love is one thing that's sure, even as we shout
That is what we know, what we hold true
Words with love are the ones that pass through our mouth
We don't degrade each other, it's REAL
This to the heavens I thank and I shout
So if you want to know, let me tell you
Only in yourself will you find ridiculous delusions
Only in your face will you see your eyes and the lies they tell to BE
Only you can change, what I see
Obviously, is (well) we won't say
Even though I am having a day, a day of rhyme, and day of reason
A day of hate, when red burns so hot it's blue
My heat boils and snaps, like lava
Hotter than hot, and covering all that I choose
NOT YOU
I am logic, and a rock of reason
Qualities you don't possess
Then cools, to the soft touch of love and white ice
The rights you have now, could boil could stew
Everything you take for granted could be gone tomorrow, don't blink
It might disappear, than what do you do?
Where do you go when it all disperses, to the only place you have
That is you, and where will you go?
Maybe then you will look to yourself, look inside
See what is making you do, what you do
Where will you take yourself when you make what you make?
What life you end up in, when you take all you can take?
What you have taken, you can have
Keep it, it's yours, nobody wants its rottenness stinking allure
For it's nothing but lies, all that you have told
In a manner that's not direct, but rather round about
The ending is clear, you have nothing
You want to protect what you have
What you care about for YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU
Yes, I know all about you
Your selfish desires
Now you don't know who you are, or what to do
So you are sitting and stewing, and trying to survive
You look here you look there, to strengthen your tenuous ties
But that won't work now, you see, you took it all
Boiled the children for stew, now there is none left for him
Or for him, or for whoever you choose to suckle from, the waste you are
Is clear
Monday, December 3, 2012
Forest
Blank wall, all I can see is my inner soul
I want to be let out, I cannot see
Myself, to others,
Myself, to me
All I see
Can the blank wall dissapear, will I fill
Will I be full
Enough, Enough, Enough
To quiet my mind from itself
The questions it has for ME
So long ignored
Someone, Something, Everything
Do possessions equal happiness
Question
And,
Fascination verses Reality
IF I want what I can't have
Then I will never have what I want
Then,
If I can see Want, than I want to be free from it
I can't look at others to see myself, it doesn't work
My own demons are fearful enough, and enough for me
See what is right in front of you
That's how it happens, that's how it starts
Love and Self are one, no matter what the eye sees
The Soul and Self secure as one
Through the eye triumphant, Reality restored
Now I see
What happens when romantic illusion returns?
Happiness is as light as a feather, and is Real
To life, heart to mind
There is a time for everything, Life doesn't wait
Change doesn't wait for life, take it
Peaceful or Stormy
Weather and life roll along
When I decided I had enough, of what
Wasen't even real
The fears inside my mind, we haunting me
Taunting me, trying to ruin what I recovered
Of myself
Fear subsided, and the light I thought I saw
In my mind, loves safe place
Became Real( Literally)
While exploring dark places in my mind,
This sun, lit a light
The light was shining through the pines
The most beautiful thing I could think to see
For Me to see inside my mind,
Shadows I didn't even know where there
Dark forboding, scary to explore
Why?
Turned out after all! Safe from harm
The fear was nothing, once I had seen it up close
The thoughts were nothing much to be afraid of, nothing much at all
Light shining through the trees, shining
brilliant, all her glory steady
White
A tree, rooted strong
In the Earth, my feet feel each step now
Balanced, Tall, and Strong
Triumphantly I dance through the light
The forest of my mind is open now
The pine meadow a memory of my journey
My search for Me
Light returns in the form of trust
I once thought that the dillusion
Romantic illusion
Was dead
Wasen't even real in the first place
When illusion bursts, it's hard to see it dissipate
Something I thought was solid as time
Was nothing more than fragile illusion
Mostly inside my own mind
Bursting in my face
It Sounds so so sad
I know
It's okay lemme tell you why
Romantic delusion is actually really real
When I fell, a White Knight caught me
As strong and gentle as a Man Bear
The white light I saw shining through
A real illusion, of the white love I envisioned
A comfort to me, all the Love I have
For that Man, and all that he Loves
Nurture Love Grow
I want to be let out, I cannot see
Myself, to others,
Myself, to me
All I see
Can the blank wall dissapear, will I fill
Will I be full
Enough, Enough, Enough
To quiet my mind from itself
The questions it has for ME
So long ignored
Someone, Something, Everything
Do possessions equal happiness
Question
And,
Fascination verses Reality
IF I want what I can't have
Then I will never have what I want
Then,
If I can see Want, than I want to be free from it
I can't look at others to see myself, it doesn't work
My own demons are fearful enough, and enough for me
See what is right in front of you
That's how it happens, that's how it starts
Love and Self are one, no matter what the eye sees
The Soul and Self secure as one
Through the eye triumphant, Reality restored
Now I see
What happens when romantic illusion returns?
Happiness is as light as a feather, and is Real
To life, heart to mind
There is a time for everything, Life doesn't wait
Change doesn't wait for life, take it
Peaceful or Stormy
Weather and life roll along
When I decided I had enough, of what
Wasen't even real
The fears inside my mind, we haunting me
Taunting me, trying to ruin what I recovered
Of myself
Fear subsided, and the light I thought I saw
In my mind, loves safe place
Became Real( Literally)
While exploring dark places in my mind,
This sun, lit a light
The light was shining through the pines
The most beautiful thing I could think to see
For Me to see inside my mind,
Shadows I didn't even know where there
Dark forboding, scary to explore
Why?
Turned out after all! Safe from harm
The fear was nothing, once I had seen it up close
The thoughts were nothing much to be afraid of, nothing much at all
Light shining through the trees, shining
brilliant, all her glory steady
White
A tree, rooted strong
In the Earth, my feet feel each step now
Balanced, Tall, and Strong
Triumphantly I dance through the light
The forest of my mind is open now
The pine meadow a memory of my journey
My search for Me
Light returns in the form of trust
I once thought that the dillusion
Romantic illusion
Was dead
Wasen't even real in the first place
When illusion bursts, it's hard to see it dissipate
Something I thought was solid as time
Was nothing more than fragile illusion
Mostly inside my own mind
Bursting in my face
It Sounds so so sad
I know
It's okay lemme tell you why
Romantic delusion is actually really real
When I fell, a White Knight caught me
As strong and gentle as a Man Bear
The white light I saw shining through
A real illusion, of the white love I envisioned
A comfort to me, all the Love I have
For that Man, and all that he Loves
Nurture Love Grow
Saturday, November 17, 2012
FerretDog
(Kinder and gentler, to me
Please let me go, Let me be Me
Let me Be Free, Chains of self doubt
Leave, let me Be
To myself, and in turn everyone
How do I break Free? From chains that bind me?
Openess, yes I say this
LET ME BE FREE
Whay can't I be tallar
Blondar? Someone please, tell me
That whore is tall, she's beautiful
Look at me
I took my head, and shook it up
(A murky swamp of fucked up shit)
Now it glows of ice, I cleaned the lake
(Uncovered shit)
Icy pond glows clear, see the murky
(Atmosphere)
How hard can it be, to love Yourself
Mine and Me
Please get along for once
My Brain to My Heart
Vice Versa
The One said to the Other
One could Think and one could Feel
One could see the Pain
The other could Feel
One could light the eyes
The other turns ashes to light
When love returns to light the light of Life
Into It
Can we get along without struggle
Siamese twins, Loving each other and Loathing the same
The same is what we are but different we Appear
And the differences the same
One Mirror
One Mirror
One reflection
One fear
Looks to Voice to Eyes To hart to brain
The same goes on and one
One to another
Friends and Enemies
Think and Feel
Both alike
Both the Same
Only one Thinks and One Feels
Memory different
Yet, the same
One said to the other
I will take the blonde one; Thank you and Please
I will take the little boy, Andrew
He's mine for Now
I love him, I love him, I love him
A doll
A man
A name, the same
Only Madison would really know
Ask her and she'll tell you
She's the one in the Snow
Her and Ariel, Playing in the mud
The desert toy, for Mermaids
Child imagination, Pure Gold
In the Earth thay played, hay
And as adults, thay think
Am I good enough Man?
Reproach me they said
Yes the love the same
The light of the world
Is enough to light your way
It loves Us all
You know
So let it go
Let it all go
It loves everyone
I know this now though
The weight gone
Lightened with Thanks
Madison will have the same, Thank ya
And Please
We are all good enough
For ourselves to be
Whoever we want
With this
I am set free
Accept change, let it be
Open your heart to all in laughter, compassion
Vitality
That was mentioned once to me
An earthreal Mermaid, A queen
Another friend of Mine, Sleep
Vitality and Beauty, all that is Good
All that is white, can I have some of your light love
It's white light love, envelopes me(JL)
To me she is beauty, Perfect
A Queen
What about Blue Madison?
I am Pink
You are Blue
Gynastic suits, Aura's of long ago truth
Shines with the light of Pink and of Blue
Babies, One for Me
Babies, One for you
One will be light and one will be dark
Reverse Fiction For Truth
Imagination How Far will I take you?
Her light is blue, and logic truth
Madison
She doesn't know it yet, but she shines
Snow on Christmas Day, Words you don't forget
And now she knows, how white snow shines with blue
Is inside of her, and shines out
And the other is Pink, Love True
(For Andrew)
And in the light and in the mud and in the snow
They played in the sand, the mud and the snow
Another world alive, in each one's mind's
An ocean or a world from some other time
And in eachothers minds, the same
Dual the same eye's looked, remembered
The same-The same
For life, together they stand
Only they know, little friends
How deep the Roots, The Roots of Her
They go
Her and Her, They are twins, you know
One blonde and One brown
The same but differant, you know
As they change, as they grow
Still the same, still different as well
Memories don't change, Love remains the same
The grass, borrowed from another youth
Do you remember?
I know you do?
She says with a song, a feeling
With truth, without truth
Love cannot shine thru, cannot break the night
With lightning, stuck in time
Ask one and the other will tell you as well
The same truths, a little different
For eyes see, hearts feel, we all think
A lal' differantly
But it happens, makes us each us
At the end of the day, that's all that matters
And did you pray?
That's just me, how I say things
But this about you, this is about us
This is about we, let's all laugh
At what we say, whan we crazy
Some other time that mattered, before
Wait
Look around, be grateful
Another said, she's brown
Everything and all a Mother Goddess, herself(MR)
A miracle of Life, innocence reincarnate
Her Strength, Her Honesty, Truth
Caramel, something sweet
She loves, she remembers
Mermaids are here, Just right now
They came, they went
Cast a spell of sirens, Beauty calling out
If you look away, a storm might pass
The Mermaids seen it, they seen it
Look Notes on Leaves made of Thought
Child's imagination, rings with Pure Truth
Who live among us, these sirens
Who create beauty, but these creatures
Tell me
Not the Men, thar something else
Masculinity not akin to delicate beauty
A moment in time, makes a lifetime
To cast aside beauty is a shame, for he doesn't realize
Her light shines, shines and shines
The way light on an Aquamarine plays
The light, glittering
Blue
In beauty, casting out to sea
Fish live amongst you
Blue and Pink, White and Brown
Night cast on water, of the sea
Deep green, glittering
Mean as Ink
Eye of the Storm, the Waves come
They don't wait, and in the grass they played
Than there thay are
There thay are
Playing in sand and Mud and Clouds and Snow
Heavens eyes, Aquamarine and Pink
Please let me go, Let me be Me
Let me Be Free, Chains of self doubt
Leave, let me Be
To myself, and in turn everyone
How do I break Free? From chains that bind me?
Openess, yes I say this
LET ME BE FREE
Whay can't I be tallar
Blondar? Someone please, tell me
That whore is tall, she's beautiful
Look at me
I took my head, and shook it up
(A murky swamp of fucked up shit)
Now it glows of ice, I cleaned the lake
(Uncovered shit)
Icy pond glows clear, see the murky
(Atmosphere)
How hard can it be, to love Yourself
Mine and Me
Please get along for once
My Brain to My Heart
Vice Versa
The One said to the Other
One could Think and one could Feel
One could see the Pain
The other could Feel
One could light the eyes
The other turns ashes to light
When love returns to light the light of Life
Into It
Can we get along without struggle
Siamese twins, Loving each other and Loathing the same
The same is what we are but different we Appear
And the differences the same
One Mirror
One Mirror
One reflection
One fear
Looks to Voice to Eyes To hart to brain
The same goes on and one
One to another
Friends and Enemies
Think and Feel
Both alike
Both the Same
Only one Thinks and One Feels
Memory different
Yet, the same
One said to the other
I will take the blonde one; Thank you and Please
I will take the little boy, Andrew
He's mine for Now
I love him, I love him, I love him
A doll
A man
A name, the same
Only Madison would really know
Ask her and she'll tell you
She's the one in the Snow
Her and Ariel, Playing in the mud
The desert toy, for Mermaids
Child imagination, Pure Gold
In the Earth thay played, hay
And as adults, thay think
Am I good enough Man?
Reproach me they said
Yes the love the same
The light of the world
Is enough to light your way
It loves Us all
You know
So let it go
Let it all go
It loves everyone
I know this now though
The weight gone
Lightened with Thanks
Madison will have the same, Thank ya
And Please
We are all good enough
For ourselves to be
Whoever we want
With this
I am set free
Accept change, let it be
Open your heart to all in laughter, compassion
Vitality
That was mentioned once to me
An earthreal Mermaid, A queen
Another friend of Mine, Sleep
Vitality and Beauty, all that is Good
All that is white, can I have some of your light love
It's white light love, envelopes me(JL)
To me she is beauty, Perfect
A Queen
What about Blue Madison?
I am Pink
You are Blue
Gynastic suits, Aura's of long ago truth
Shines with the light of Pink and of Blue
Babies, One for Me
Babies, One for you
One will be light and one will be dark
Reverse Fiction For Truth
Imagination How Far will I take you?
Her light is blue, and logic truth
Madison
She doesn't know it yet, but she shines
Snow on Christmas Day, Words you don't forget
And now she knows, how white snow shines with blue
Is inside of her, and shines out
And the other is Pink, Love True
(For Andrew)
And in the light and in the mud and in the snow
They played in the sand, the mud and the snow
Another world alive, in each one's mind's
An ocean or a world from some other time
And in eachothers minds, the same
Dual the same eye's looked, remembered
The same-The same
For life, together they stand
Only they know, little friends
How deep the Roots, The Roots of Her
They go
Her and Her, They are twins, you know
One blonde and One brown
The same but differant, you know
As they change, as they grow
Still the same, still different as well
Memories don't change, Love remains the same
The grass, borrowed from another youth
Do you remember?
I know you do?
She says with a song, a feeling
With truth, without truth
Love cannot shine thru, cannot break the night
With lightning, stuck in time
Ask one and the other will tell you as well
The same truths, a little different
For eyes see, hearts feel, we all think
A lal' differantly
But it happens, makes us each us
At the end of the day, that's all that matters
And did you pray?
That's just me, how I say things
But this about you, this is about us
This is about we, let's all laugh
At what we say, whan we crazy
Some other time that mattered, before
Wait
Look around, be grateful
Another said, she's brown
Everything and all a Mother Goddess, herself(MR)
A miracle of Life, innocence reincarnate
Her Strength, Her Honesty, Truth
Caramel, something sweet
She loves, she remembers
Mermaids are here, Just right now
They came, they went
Cast a spell of sirens, Beauty calling out
If you look away, a storm might pass
The Mermaids seen it, they seen it
Look Notes on Leaves made of Thought
Child's imagination, rings with Pure Truth
Who live among us, these sirens
Who create beauty, but these creatures
Tell me
Not the Men, thar something else
Masculinity not akin to delicate beauty
A moment in time, makes a lifetime
To cast aside beauty is a shame, for he doesn't realize
Her light shines, shines and shines
The way light on an Aquamarine plays
The light, glittering
Blue
In beauty, casting out to sea
Fish live amongst you
Blue and Pink, White and Brown
Night cast on water, of the sea
Deep green, glittering
Mean as Ink
Eye of the Storm, the Waves come
They don't wait, and in the grass they played
Than there thay are
There thay are
Playing in sand and Mud and Clouds and Snow
Heavens eyes, Aquamarine and Pink
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Blue unseen Inside
Blank waters, deep with Tide
Endless blue, floating openly
No way in particular, a place
Under the sea, of hopes
Thoughts and Dreams
Up and up above, the endless
The unseen
Side to side, floating under the
TIDE OF DREAMS
THE EMPTY OPEN UNSEEN
OF MY CONSCIENCE
MEDITATIONS
THOUGHTS AND DREAMS
LET ME BE
LET ME BE ME
LET ME BE ME
STILL BE FREE
STILL BE BLUE
STILL BE UNSEEN
FLOATING BLUE
MY THOUGHTS ARE FREE
EVERYWHERE
ANYWHERE
BLUE WATERS with any ANY POSSIBILITY
ALL THE GOOD(and with it the bad)
ALL THE BAD(and with it the good)
"DON'T MOVE THE ROCKS
TO CHANGE THE TIDE
CHANGE THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT THE TIDE"
I SEE
I SEE THIS PLACE
OPEN TO POSSIBILITY
IN THAT PLACE WE SWIM FREE
NO WHERE TO GO
THE REFLECTION OF ME
THE REFLECTION OF ALL
The water and the earth a reflection, of one
ONE, and all
COMPLETE AND PERFECT
THE WAY I AM, the way we all are
THE WAY I CHOOSE TO BE, is all I am
Not that it matters, here or in another infinity
Dreams unseen, endless unseen
Endless universe, unknown unseen
DON'T LOOK FORWARD
DON'T LOOK BACK
A REFLECTION OF ME, waters in my mind
I SEE, myself there in that lovely endless open water
Free of all that touches here, and touching it still
LIES here
ONE
THE ONE I SEE
Seated below
Lotus flower
Is me
Tiny, and free
of thoughts that direct me
That's the only way I know how to say it
The only way I know
To be me
To sit free
Is to find a place to heal
Inside my mind
Outside of the past
People
Insults
Myself
Ideas inside of me
Regrets
Thoughts lining up
Thoughts waiting
To take a place in my mind
Aside from where I want it to be
Inside that sea; the vision
The reflection I see
Inside
My mind
My heart connected
That sea
Endless blue, floating openly
No way in particular, a place
Under the sea, of hopes
Thoughts and Dreams
Up and up above, the endless
The unseen
Side to side, floating under the
TIDE OF DREAMS
THE EMPTY OPEN UNSEEN
OF MY CONSCIENCE
MEDITATIONS
THOUGHTS AND DREAMS
LET ME BE
LET ME BE ME
LET ME BE ME
STILL BE FREE
STILL BE BLUE
STILL BE UNSEEN
FLOATING BLUE
MY THOUGHTS ARE FREE
EVERYWHERE
ANYWHERE
BLUE WATERS with any ANY POSSIBILITY
ALL THE GOOD(and with it the bad)
ALL THE BAD(and with it the good)
"DON'T MOVE THE ROCKS
TO CHANGE THE TIDE
CHANGE THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT THE TIDE"
I SEE
I SEE THIS PLACE
OPEN TO POSSIBILITY
IN THAT PLACE WE SWIM FREE
NO WHERE TO GO
THE REFLECTION OF ME
THE REFLECTION OF ALL
The water and the earth a reflection, of one
ONE, and all
COMPLETE AND PERFECT
THE WAY I AM, the way we all are
THE WAY I CHOOSE TO BE, is all I am
Not that it matters, here or in another infinity
Dreams unseen, endless unseen
Endless universe, unknown unseen
DON'T LOOK FORWARD
DON'T LOOK BACK
A REFLECTION OF ME, waters in my mind
I SEE, myself there in that lovely endless open water
Free of all that touches here, and touching it still
LIES here
ONE
THE ONE I SEE
Seated below
Lotus flower
Is me
Tiny, and free
of thoughts that direct me
That's the only way I know how to say it
The only way I know
To be me
To sit free
Is to find a place to heal
Inside my mind
Outside of the past
People
Insults
Myself
Ideas inside of me
Regrets
Thoughts lining up
Thoughts waiting
To take a place in my mind
Aside from where I want it to be
Inside that sea; the vision
The reflection I see
Inside
My mind
My heart connected
That sea
Friday, November 2, 2012
TRUTHS
When we are thrown asunder
The we I say, Means I
Life as I know it, my time here spent
Each day, I have know; as I know it
Realizing we are a fragile shell,
Life means as much to a bird, not yet born
See the parents mourn the loss, think of the link
A parent and the unborn
The life that results, from a fragile mind
The analogy to me, is clear
A fragile life, is a fragile life
When it shatters, the mourn is still loss
Still a sadness that one feels, to lose
To have a loss
What matters is what we choose to hold, to let
Go
To let the truth unfold, as truth
To see our inner soul, as real
What we really are, what we really feel
It's hard sometimes, dark sometimes
I find, as those inner truths are told
Not always there, but it grows and breeds
Love exists everywhere, for everyone
What we sink in, is what one finds
I hold this true for everyone, I know
So it's there, that truth
We are all ugly and dirty
In some ways, face it
It hurts.
Now move on
The love in front of you
Imagine it
The love we see in front of us
Our Self, Our One
Who we are, the person
We are the love we feel all round
The we I say, Means I
Life as I know it, my time here spent
Each day, I have know; as I know it
Realizing we are a fragile shell,
Life means as much to a bird, not yet born
See the parents mourn the loss, think of the link
A parent and the unborn
The life that results, from a fragile mind
The analogy to me, is clear
A fragile life, is a fragile life
When it shatters, the mourn is still loss
Still a sadness that one feels, to lose
To have a loss
What matters is what we choose to hold, to let
Go
To let the truth unfold, as truth
To see our inner soul, as real
What we really are, what we really feel
It's hard sometimes, dark sometimes
I find, as those inner truths are told
Not always there, but it grows and breeds
Love exists everywhere, for everyone
What we sink in, is what one finds
I hold this true for everyone, I know
So it's there, that truth
We are all ugly and dirty
In some ways, face it
It hurts.
Now move on
The love in front of you
Imagine it
The love we see in front of us
Our Self, Our One
Who we are, the person
We are the love we feel all round
Monday, October 22, 2012
Some self Stuff
Charged up
Ready to blow
I had a prayer
To be okay
To feel happy with me
That I was enough
Good enough
For happiness
To fully
Reside inside
ME
I talk like this
Thought to verse
It helps me to purge
Then and Now
Flow out
To suggest a feeling inside
That is raw
Unrehearsed
Something I learned
As of Late
If a path has heart
It's good
Period
End of Verse
In Exploration
Of Self
I learned
When it comes down to it
We are who we are
We are who we choose to be
There is only one self
For each of us
Different
That's who we are
End of story
Now different
I know
I am ONE
The one is me
There is no other self
I'm responsible for each day
I can face the ugliness inside of me
Know what it looks like
Know what it is
The ugliest ugly is only as ugly
As we can imagine
Until you look it in the eye
Until you dissect it
Fear is nothing
If you look at it
Like that
The worst of the worst
Is only as bad as you make it
Fear
Is nothing
When you say it out loud
Into the silence
Inside your head
Anger is nothing
When you say it into the silence
Inside your head
I changed that up inside my head
Period
End
Of
Verse
When we pray
I learned this along the way
Road to self
Continues on
Drives
Flies sometimes
Changes
Who we are
Sometimes
I think of stuff
Like this
Or that
To touch myself
Know who I am
Deep inside
What is right for me
Brings Peace
To my Life
Also to Laugh
The latter is
Funny, that
Period
End of verse
It's me
Funny that
We can be who we are
Or not
It's up to us
To allow
That
To happen
Or not
Or to apologize to Self
Later on
Ready to blow
I had a prayer
To be okay
To feel happy with me
That I was enough
Good enough
For happiness
To fully
Reside inside
ME
I talk like this
Thought to verse
It helps me to purge
Then and Now
Flow out
To suggest a feeling inside
That is raw
Unrehearsed
Something I learned
As of Late
If a path has heart
It's good
Period
End of Verse
In Exploration
Of Self
I learned
When it comes down to it
We are who we are
We are who we choose to be
There is only one self
For each of us
Different
That's who we are
End of story
Now different
I know
I am ONE
The one is me
There is no other self
I'm responsible for each day
I can face the ugliness inside of me
Know what it looks like
Know what it is
The ugliest ugly is only as ugly
As we can imagine
Until you look it in the eye
Until you dissect it
Fear is nothing
If you look at it
Like that
The worst of the worst
Is only as bad as you make it
Fear
Is nothing
When you say it out loud
Into the silence
Inside your head
Anger is nothing
When you say it into the silence
Inside your head
I changed that up inside my head
Period
End
Of
Verse
When we pray
I learned this along the way
Road to self
Continues on
Drives
Flies sometimes
Changes
Who we are
Sometimes
I think of stuff
Like this
Or that
To touch myself
Know who I am
Deep inside
What is right for me
Brings Peace
To my Life
Also to Laugh
The latter is
Funny, that
Period
End of verse
It's me
Funny that
We can be who we are
Or not
It's up to us
To allow
That
To happen
Or not
Or to apologize to Self
Later on
Friday, October 19, 2012
Beautiful Day, Forgiveness and Thanks
To stop to, to wait
To take some time, for myself to contemplate
The end of the day, the light shining lines
Into the room, heavens' bright light shining through
Into the room, by way of the window
Into my soul, by way of God's fine grace
Take a second to pray, take a second to Thank
The light and the love, the warm shades of light
The day rises, the day fades
Opens your eyes, if you look
Shows you kindness, and answers, in unexpected ways
Answers your questions, if you open your heart
If you mean what you say, if you take a moment
To think, to thank
Wake with the Sun, take second to think
What's been taught, what we know
From a Mother, from a Father
A moment, things go wrong
Make it right with US, who we are
United Humanity stands, under one Sun
Human race, as fragile as time
We have right now, we have today
Let's face the sun, Let's pray
To that light, to that Love from above
To take some time, for myself to contemplate
The end of the day, the light shining lines
Into the room, heavens' bright light shining through
Into the room, by way of the window
Into my soul, by way of God's fine grace
Take a second to pray, take a second to Thank
The light and the love, the warm shades of light
The day rises, the day fades
Opens your eyes, if you look
Shows you kindness, and answers, in unexpected ways
Answers your questions, if you open your heart
If you mean what you say, if you take a moment
To think, to thank
Wake with the Sun, take second to think
What's been taught, what we know
From a Mother, from a Father
A moment, things go wrong
Make it right with US, who we are
United Humanity stands, under one Sun
Human race, as fragile as time
We have right now, we have today
Let's face the sun, Let's pray
To that light, to that Love from above
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Passed
This is where I go
To be free
Thoughts like birds
That fly away
Watching them
For a spell
In the sunshine
How they play
Jumping around
In puddles of water
From the morning dew
Drying in the morning sun
It's beautiful
The sun streaming through the trees
Never cliche, always beautiful
For with each morning that comes
Brings with it a different day
Sitting in the morning sun
Watching birds
This is love
Moments like this
Grab onto
Hold on
For a moment, to a moment
Be in the moment
Enough to recognize it
For what it is
Love
A second to reflect
On the beauty we have been given
People go away, in many ways
Sometimes we don't get to say
I love you and goodbye
Paces fast through life
People we love
Aren't always forever
We don't always get that chance
To watch the birds
Playing in the sun
We don't always get the chance
To say good-bye
This is a really close to my heart.
Sometimes we don't get the chance to say good-bye, whether is is to death or the time we are meant to spend with a person ends. Cherish life. Cherish the people in your life. Cherish the beauty.
To be free
Thoughts like birds
That fly away
Watching them
For a spell
In the sunshine
How they play
Jumping around
In puddles of water
From the morning dew
Drying in the morning sun
It's beautiful
The sun streaming through the trees
Never cliche, always beautiful
For with each morning that comes
Brings with it a different day
Sitting in the morning sun
Watching birds
This is love
Moments like this
Grab onto
Hold on
For a moment, to a moment
Be in the moment
Enough to recognize it
For what it is
Love
A second to reflect
On the beauty we have been given
People go away, in many ways
Sometimes we don't get to say
I love you and goodbye
Paces fast through life
People we love
Aren't always forever
We don't always get that chance
To watch the birds
Playing in the sun
We don't always get the chance
To say good-bye
This is a really close to my heart.
Sometimes we don't get the chance to say good-bye, whether is is to death or the time we are meant to spend with a person ends. Cherish life. Cherish the people in your life. Cherish the beauty.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Gray is the color of Grace
Bubbles of thought float away
Streams of gray, clouds of smoke
Surrounding them, protective strokes
Thinking thoughts, dreaming
One in Color, one in Grey
Two girls, once had this discussion
Once talked on this subject
What color are your dreams?
Mine are in color, Mine are in Black and Grey
Colors remembers this, it happened
Memory encased, a house of glass
Floating on smoke, that dissipates
Into the atmosphere, Grey
House of Matter,generates our Minds
Grey
Color
a Cat
a dream state
Grace
Color
a name
a dream state
a cat
Comparisons to me, my thoughts streams of grey
Of smoke, of time
A memory, a thought from long ago
Floated to me, on a bubble
Came from a place in the back of my mind
Floated forward, and I grabbed it like a balloon
An orbit of glass, encased in smoke
Streams of gray, clouds of smoke
Surrounding them, protective strokes
Thinking thoughts, dreaming
One in Color, one in Grey
Two girls, once had this discussion
Once talked on this subject
What color are your dreams?
Mine are in color, Mine are in Black and Grey
Colors remembers this, it happened
Memory encased, a house of glass
Floating on smoke, that dissipates
Into the atmosphere, Grey
House of Matter,generates our Minds
Grey
Color
a Cat
a dream state
Grace
Color
a name
a dream state
a cat
Comparisons to me, my thoughts streams of grey
Of smoke, of time
A memory, a thought from long ago
Floated to me, on a bubble
Came from a place in the back of my mind
Floated forward, and I grabbed it like a balloon
An orbit of glass, encased in smoke
Friday, September 28, 2012
Slice
What do we do
When our cup is full
Take a drink
Wait for the glass to break
Shake
Make a mess
Destroy the peace
Nothing is enough
Take a slice
The whole cake
You deserve it
Go ahead and cut
Take a slice
It's what you deserve
Never enough
Does the other shoe drop
Does dread follow fear
Right behind happiness
Take a step back
Take a drink
Have a laugh
Nothing gets
Better
Nothing gets worse
We have today
Not tomorrow
Too far
Take a step back
Don't trip
Don't stumble
Don't rot away
While you wait for life
What you have been waiting for
Not here
Haven't seen it
Go away
Step back in the shadows
Hide your face
I still see you
I'm laughing
Your not
Day breaks
More time
Might be better
Might be worse
Might be the same for a while
A repeating pattern
A galloping horse
Each day
That happens
We write our life
We drink from our glass
We drop shoes
We look around
For someway
To make life work
To take back mistakes
It doesn't work
To dig a hole
To make a mark
To take something we want
Take it for ours
Who cares who we hurt
Have another one
Who cares
Your life is Now
What you make it Here
What lies you tell
What truths you hold
Inside your soul
Makes you here
Makes you whole
Making schemes
Making dreams
Making things happen
By manipulations
You might think
A clever being
It doesn't matter
Time holds up
Time and patience
Build a foundation
Hard as stone
Make it stick
A hollow life
Holds nothing more
Pockets of air
Empty
Alone
Your plastic throne
Tipped over
Just take a drink
It's right here
Where you reside
Inside self
Inside home
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Another Pretty Day
This is happiness
On which to dream, to live, to heal a shattered soul
To walk on air, surrounded in light
An earthly heaven, a lovely grace
Happens to be you, and you him
One without the other, seems incomplete
Shattered circle of love, if it weren't so;
Misery, broken and without hope
Swimming blue, safe surrounded by water kind;
Peace waves from the sky, streams of clouds peach;
I can feel the warm sky melting every night, like sorbet
A welcoming waking, saying Good Morning;
Welcome to another day here, on Cloud Nine
Another day since birth is here, graciousness ensues
Circle of sun is fire, light and life
Each day feels like heaven itself, we make this entropy happen
Warmth we exude becomes love, creates reality that feels like bliss
On which to dream, to live, to heal a shattered soul
To walk on air, surrounded in light
An earthly heaven, a lovely grace
Happens to be you, and you him
One without the other, seems incomplete
Shattered circle of love, if it weren't so;
Misery, broken and without hope
Swimming blue, safe surrounded by water kind;
Peace waves from the sky, streams of clouds peach;
I can feel the warm sky melting every night, like sorbet
A welcoming waking, saying Good Morning;
Welcome to another day here, on Cloud Nine
Another day since birth is here, graciousness ensues
Circle of sun is fire, light and life
Each day feels like heaven itself, we make this entropy happen
Warmth we exude becomes love, creates reality that feels like bliss
Saturday, September 22, 2012
NOTES
BAND AND BANG
SCREAM AND SCREAM
WHISTLE AND WHISTLE
CLANG IRON
AGAINST IRON
THE LOWEST RING
SHRILLY THEY DELIVER THE MESSAGE
A HEAVY HEART
DESPAIR
INSIDE
KNIFE EMOTION
THE BAND PLAYS ON
AND STILL WE CAN HEAR PAIN SINGING
AM I WORTH A THING
AM I WORTH ANYTHING AT ALL
I ASK MYSELF INSIDE
THE NOTES BANG AND HURT
A SHRILL NOTE INSIDE THAT STINGS WITH PAIN
WITH PAIN
WITH PAIN
WITH PAIN
AND STILL WE TAKE LOVE IN
WE TAKE LOVE IN
WE GO ON WITH EACH DAY
TO TAKE LOVE IN
AND ABSORB THAT PAIN
HEARTS SWELL WITH PAIN
THE MISERY OF THE WORLD
IT SWELLS WITH PAIN
AND CONTINUES TO GIVE AND CONTINUES TO TAKE
MAYBE
ONE DAY
WE WILL FEEL GOOD ENOUGH
FOR WHAT
FOR GOD?
FOR LOVE?
FOR ANOTHER?
FOR OUR MOTHERS?
FOR THE CHURCH?
A CAUSE?
THE HUMAN RACE?
IS THAT GOOD
IS THAT ENOUGH
WHAT COMPLEX
WHAT COMPLEX DO YOU THINK I HAVE?
THE ONE I KNOW
I KNOW INSIDE MYSELF
SHE IS ME
SHE IS I
SHE FEELS THAT WAY
SOMETIMES
THAT NEVER GOOD ENOUGH
IS WHATS INSIDE
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
WHAT WE MAKE OURSELVES?
WHAT WE BECOME?
WHO WE ARE?
OUR HEARTS DON'T LIE
AND ONLY GOD CAN SEE
WHAT IS INSIDE
US
WE KNOW WE KNOW AND SO DOES
THEY SWELL WITH LOVE
THEY SWELL WITH PAIN
NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR WHO
NO GOOD ENOUGH FOR WHO
AND EACH NOTE BANGS AWAY THE PAIN
AND EACH TEAR WASHES IT AWAY
IT HURTS TO SCREAM
IT HURTS TO CRY
SO LOUD
YOUR HOARSE
AND ONLY SLEEP WILL TAKE AWAY THE PAIN
BATHES AWAY THE HURT
PURIFIES OUR HEARTS FOR MORE
FOR MORE AND MORE AND MORE AND MORE
NOTES TO FILL
NOTES FALL TO THE FLOOR
SCREAM AND SCREAM
WHISTLE AND WHISTLE
CLANG IRON
AGAINST IRON
THE LOWEST RING
SHRILLY THEY DELIVER THE MESSAGE
A HEAVY HEART
DESPAIR
INSIDE
KNIFE EMOTION
THE BAND PLAYS ON
AND STILL WE CAN HEAR PAIN SINGING
AM I WORTH A THING
AM I WORTH ANYTHING AT ALL
I ASK MYSELF INSIDE
THE NOTES BANG AND HURT
A SHRILL NOTE INSIDE THAT STINGS WITH PAIN
WITH PAIN
WITH PAIN
WITH PAIN
AND STILL WE TAKE LOVE IN
WE TAKE LOVE IN
WE GO ON WITH EACH DAY
TO TAKE LOVE IN
AND ABSORB THAT PAIN
HEARTS SWELL WITH PAIN
THE MISERY OF THE WORLD
IT SWELLS WITH PAIN
AND CONTINUES TO GIVE AND CONTINUES TO TAKE
MAYBE
ONE DAY
WE WILL FEEL GOOD ENOUGH
FOR WHAT
FOR GOD?
FOR LOVE?
FOR ANOTHER?
FOR OUR MOTHERS?
FOR THE CHURCH?
A CAUSE?
THE HUMAN RACE?
IS THAT GOOD
IS THAT ENOUGH
WHAT COMPLEX
WHAT COMPLEX DO YOU THINK I HAVE?
THE ONE I KNOW
I KNOW INSIDE MYSELF
SHE IS ME
SHE IS I
SHE FEELS THAT WAY
SOMETIMES
THAT NEVER GOOD ENOUGH
IS WHATS INSIDE
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
WHAT WE MAKE OURSELVES?
WHAT WE BECOME?
WHO WE ARE?
OUR HEARTS DON'T LIE
AND ONLY GOD CAN SEE
WHAT IS INSIDE
US
WE KNOW WE KNOW AND SO DOES
THEY SWELL WITH LOVE
THEY SWELL WITH PAIN
NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR WHO
NO GOOD ENOUGH FOR WHO
AND EACH NOTE BANGS AWAY THE PAIN
AND EACH TEAR WASHES IT AWAY
IT HURTS TO SCREAM
IT HURTS TO CRY
SO LOUD
YOUR HOARSE
AND ONLY SLEEP WILL TAKE AWAY THE PAIN
BATHES AWAY THE HURT
PURIFIES OUR HEARTS FOR MORE
FOR MORE AND MORE AND MORE AND MORE
NOTES TO FILL
NOTES FALL TO THE FLOOR
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Self/Self
There is a monster inside US
Inside of me, inside of you
Inside of each individual
With an inherrent desire to BE
Each proposon, walking this Earth
We are all responsible
For the person we are
For our own monster inside
On one half It and on the other Good
Good and Evil
A balance that happens with the effect of science
One takes and one gives, opposites react
Make choices with that, and with it comes circumstance
It just is the way it is
That's what happens, It's logic and fact
Black and white, a changing identity
Each of us struggles with who we are, our circle turns
Every soul has been, since Dinosaurs left Earth
Each one of us unique, no two exactly alike
Our actions just are, that is how we live.
Isn't it, after all?
Choices happen that form a Life, our own
Chain reaction events, that happen, each second we ARE here
Reprucussions, in chaos
We argue about where we go after Life,
that is a common difference
but right now is the time we are here
Some actions we have control of, others happenstance
Who we are, who we are in charge of, Our selves
The way that we happen, the moment that we are born
The first breath that we take, starts time for a persona
To develop and grow
We become who we are, choices dictate self
A moral compass inside, that's either nourished or emotionally starved
Inside our Self is the black the white the good the bad a circle of Life
For a reason, that reason is circle, and that reason is balance
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Red Mountain House Nightmare
When the dreams break, continues uninterrupted
In my sleep, I wake, for a brief moment
Close my eyes, and see the continuation
of my Nightmare, still alive, still real inside my mind
I can't hold back sleep, it's live and it's me
In color, I see every detail, as if it were happening, happening to me
The red mountain house, large windows that face the forest surrounding
Two little dogs, yelping and running in the mud, we kept them in
A chained link gate
A mans legs, I couldn't see his face
A massive walking stick, up the stairs he went
What happens next, terrifies me now
Even in broad daylight
Yet I know
Only a dream
Right?
So clear it happened in my mind, the memory is real
It happened to my soul
Somehow
I knew
I knew that my friend and I must go
Must quietly leave this Red Mountain House
The blood I knew was to be spilled
Upstairs he did go
Walking stick
I couldn't hear it through the house
But could see it through the window
The windows facing the forest
The views vast, for the beauty
So quietly I told her
So quietly we crept
Past the chain link fence
With the little dogs
Quiet at least
Fear pressed us
Pushed behind at us
Creeping in like a feeling
That leaves your skin crawling
That leaves you feeling sick
Into the car away we drove
Away from the fear
Away from the man
Safely along
The dream ended
I woke up
Stood in the darkness and thought
Of what had just happened
To me, it felt
Wrong
I knew it was just a dream
But it made me feel ill
Like it had just happened
Not an illusion
Very real
As I drift off to sleep
Close my eyes
I'm inside the house
The room where it happened
Dark
The moonlight the light
The rooms a maze of windows
Dark corners and stairs
I don't know why I am here
WHY AM I IN THIS HOUSE
WAITING FOR HIM TO RETURN
HE KNOWS I AM HERE
This was a dream, an interruption and a dream I had last night.
Sometimes, my nightmares leave me shaking
It was Cheyanne with me in the dream, but she didn't say a word the entire time
She drove the car, opened the gate, and probably shushed the dogs for us.
This is probably one of the creepiest dreams I have ever had.
In my sleep, I wake, for a brief moment
Close my eyes, and see the continuation
of my Nightmare, still alive, still real inside my mind
I can't hold back sleep, it's live and it's me
In color, I see every detail, as if it were happening, happening to me
The red mountain house, large windows that face the forest surrounding
Two little dogs, yelping and running in the mud, we kept them in
A chained link gate
A mans legs, I couldn't see his face
A massive walking stick, up the stairs he went
What happens next, terrifies me now
Even in broad daylight
Yet I know
Only a dream
Right?
So clear it happened in my mind, the memory is real
It happened to my soul
Somehow
I knew
I knew that my friend and I must go
Must quietly leave this Red Mountain House
The blood I knew was to be spilled
Upstairs he did go
Walking stick
I couldn't hear it through the house
But could see it through the window
The windows facing the forest
The views vast, for the beauty
So quietly I told her
So quietly we crept
Past the chain link fence
With the little dogs
Quiet at least
Fear pressed us
Pushed behind at us
Creeping in like a feeling
That leaves your skin crawling
That leaves you feeling sick
Into the car away we drove
Away from the fear
Away from the man
Safely along
The dream ended
I woke up
Stood in the darkness and thought
Of what had just happened
To me, it felt
Wrong
I knew it was just a dream
But it made me feel ill
Like it had just happened
Not an illusion
Very real
As I drift off to sleep
Close my eyes
I'm inside the house
The room where it happened
Dark
The moonlight the light
The rooms a maze of windows
Dark corners and stairs
I don't know why I am here
WHY AM I IN THIS HOUSE
WAITING FOR HIM TO RETURN
HE KNOWS I AM HERE
This was a dream, an interruption and a dream I had last night.
Sometimes, my nightmares leave me shaking
It was Cheyanne with me in the dream, but she didn't say a word the entire time
She drove the car, opened the gate, and probably shushed the dogs for us.
This is probably one of the creepiest dreams I have ever had.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Small Note
Locked in Love, savoring each moment we have
Feels like molasses, like taking a long time to laugh, or notice a joke
I know that we get each other, we see eye to eye
Like a shoe and a sock one fits right inside the other
Right and Left, His and Hers, I guess we can't help it
The way God intended, when he saw us , and us together He must have saw
And what harm do you intend us, Hands of Fate?
So far all seems more than well, the gods of fortuitousness smiling down upon us
Simplicity is blissful, easy for Happiness and Fortune to find
Feels like molasses, like taking a long time to laugh, or notice a joke
I know that we get each other, we see eye to eye
Like a shoe and a sock one fits right inside the other
Right and Left, His and Hers, I guess we can't help it
The way God intended, when he saw us , and us together He must have saw
And what harm do you intend us, Hands of Fate?
So far all seems more than well, the gods of fortuitousness smiling down upon us
Simplicity is blissful, easy for Happiness and Fortune to find
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Open door I see
When I think, inside a dream, I am awake in body
My mind is asleep , away from the here and now
I may be dreaming awake
The door closed shut, I can't see you
I see nothing but the thoughts inside my head
Twirling around
To dream and think, to not be in the present moment
Wherever that may be.
When the back door of my mind opens up, to think
Outside the box, my imagination is
Not here certainly; my dreams awake come naturally
They can dream of dragons, they can dream of fear, they can dream
Of you, in another time, in another dimension
Another place, one that doesn't exist, anywhere except my dreams
Perhaps one where things happen differently, one choice different may lead
To infinite possibilities
We have great control, over our own paths, in reality
But dreaming awake affords times and places, anyplace imagination will take us
Just a set of thoughts strung together, they form a story, a picture, a movie
A whole new place aside from the dreariness of everyday we face
A joke can happen, then you laugh inside your head
I tell a story to myself that only I can hear, that only I can see
My mind is full of visions of memories, that only I have ever seen
Intrigued and enlightened, sometimes
When the time is right, to lay around a dream
Wherever I am, I know, I can go inside my mind
And find a place of dreams
My mind is asleep , away from the here and now
I may be dreaming awake
The door closed shut, I can't see you
I see nothing but the thoughts inside my head
Twirling around
To dream and think, to not be in the present moment
Wherever that may be.
When the back door of my mind opens up, to think
Outside the box, my imagination is
Not here certainly; my dreams awake come naturally
They can dream of dragons, they can dream of fear, they can dream
Of you, in another time, in another dimension
Another place, one that doesn't exist, anywhere except my dreams
Perhaps one where things happen differently, one choice different may lead
To infinite possibilities
We have great control, over our own paths, in reality
But dreaming awake affords times and places, anyplace imagination will take us
Just a set of thoughts strung together, they form a story, a picture, a movie
A whole new place aside from the dreariness of everyday we face
A joke can happen, then you laugh inside your head
I tell a story to myself that only I can hear, that only I can see
My mind is full of visions of memories, that only I have ever seen
Intrigued and enlightened, sometimes
When the time is right, to lay around a dream
Wherever I am, I know, I can go inside my mind
And find a place of dreams
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Continuity
When summer leaves, leaves her scorn
Burning everything in her path
Luminous and brilliant
She controls all, around her every being revolves
Purifying in her white light, leaves nothing behind
Melting, burning she turns unyielding and unrelenting
Cremating what's in her wake, she gives and takes
Time comes anew..
Autumn, her skies grey, brings with her a time of giving
Harvest season starting, plenty for all, our Mother gives
Light and warmth exudes from circle of light
Circle of all, our life depends
her earthy smells
Algid air
Sunrise brilliantly lighting each cycle
Tangerine pink lights
Spectacular, she just is
Hiding out behind the clouds,
she peeks her eye
Creating light in the sky
A show in the sky for all to see
Universally Perfect, she lights the way for us to live the life we do
Really hard, trying to emulate Robert Frost , it actually makes my head hurt trying.
A show in the sky for all to see
Universally Perfect, she lights the way for us to live the life we do
Really hard, trying to emulate Robert Frost , it actually makes my head hurt trying.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Shit talking
In my view
You create
Hate
Dissension
Distaste
For yourself
You gorge
Fill yourself
Over
Over Again
Full of sad
You pass yourself
Off as light
Truth shines through
Out to get
Others for there sins
Your own will catch you
Fast on your heels
Never catching up
Cannot catch a break
This I see
I SEE
When I look at your life
Your actions
The shit you spread
Like an animal
Literally
The only communication you know
Is to
scream
Fling shit
What your past sins
Should be redeemed?
Not mine
This I see
What you put out
To others
Is what's inside
Applies to me
I know
Too
Not delusional
Fuck with me
You'll fuck yourself
Spread some more shit
Literally
Figuratively
It doesn't matter
The manners you lack
The tact
The grace
Sorry you can't let go
I have to though
The hurt you put on me
My heart can't take
It breaks
When your filth
Comes out
I can't watch
The road your on
I hope gets smoother
I don't hate you
I just don't like shit
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Draining
Why do you desire to be anxious?
Imagination takes
A hold
A hold
worry not my dear
I will never leave in spirit
I am always here with you
White love inside my soul
I am always here with you
White love inside my soul
Even if in body I must take some solace
Away from you right now
It's just the way I feel right now
Like we need some time
Some time to take
To grow inside
Like we need some time
Some time to take
To grow inside
I feel a complete detachment
From your life
Your voice
Who you are in the here and now
Your anger hit me like a ton of bricks
Quick
Leaving bruises
Wounds
Little marks
Upon my soul
A heavy hit
Some stuff
I didn't know you had
My own baggage
In your
hit
Harder than I thought
I deserved
But I'm not the one
meting out punishment
That is your job
Your way of balancing the scales
Your anger hit me like a ton of bricks
Quick
Leaving bruises
Wounds
Little marks
Upon my soul
A heavy hit
Some stuff
I didn't know you had
My own baggage
In your
hit
Harder than I thought
I deserved
But I'm not the one
meting out punishment
That is your job
Your way of balancing the scales
I have my own doings going on
A lot of things to see
Got a lot of important things
Going on right now
Of course I wish that all was well
I wish I knew this much was true
But what I see
Is a lot judgement going on
Of other peoples
Goings on
I take pause as writing this
I know
I
don't
want
to
hurt
you
anymore
Being careful what I say
Being cautious
No intent to harm
Things seem crazy
Right now
I know
It seems like forever
Since we haven't fought
Did we ever see eye to eye?
That must be it
You are elevated
High above
Where we would see each others vision
clear
You would have to step down
Look me in the eye
Way
Down
Here
I guess I haven't figured out
The things that you must know
Is the answer to judge other humans?
Tell them that they are evil
Far beneath
The enlightened
Shroud
You hide
With each dose
Of judgement
Cast my way
Far above my head
Where you sit
Casting stones
Casting judgments
Throwing shit
You must feel huge
Way up there
Sitting on that rock
High up in the sky
The heavens must have opened up a place
Special
For you to sit
Right there
Is that how you feel?
I don't know
I only know
My own thoughts
My mistakes
My love
My anger
My life
My force
I know I have to protect myself
From what
I perceive
As harm
I must take cover
For myself
Away from this blustery
Storm
of Blame
It's too much
I don't want to absorb
The energy of dissent
I feel
When you are around
I'm sorry
I just don't think i'm good for you
If you think time and time again
When I make a mistake
When I don't do what you want me to do
Sorry dear
I am an adult
I am not going to do what you want all the time
I can't
You can't handle this?
Well maybe you are right
You are better off alone
Or with your true friends
Who don't intend to harm
I am who I am
This you cannot accept
Can't see past your own account
Of what happened
What happens
What was said
What was spent
I don't want to feel indebted
Or like I am responsible
Your an adult
You make your choices
You live with them
You die with them
They make you who you are
I cannot control this
I cannot keep letting you
take
Over
Can't let you
beat me down
With your words
From the monster
\Living in your soul
I have my own demons to deal with
I have my own life to live
Like I said
Very busy
Doing stuff
For myself
My love
My life
My head
want
to
hurt
you
anymore
Being careful what I say
Being cautious
No intent to harm
Things seem crazy
Right now
I know
It seems like forever
Since we haven't fought
Did we ever see eye to eye?
That must be it
You are elevated
High above
Where we would see each others vision
clear
You would have to step down
Look me in the eye
Way
Down
Here
I guess I haven't figured out
The things that you must know
Is the answer to judge other humans?
Tell them that they are evil
Far beneath
The enlightened
Shroud
You hide
With each dose
Of judgement
Cast my way
Far above my head
Where you sit
Casting stones
Casting judgments
Throwing shit
You must feel huge
Way up there
Sitting on that rock
High up in the sky
The heavens must have opened up a place
Special
For you to sit
Right there
Is that how you feel?
I don't know
I only know
My own thoughts
My mistakes
My love
My anger
My life
My force
I know I have to protect myself
From what
I perceive
As harm
I must take cover
For myself
Away from this blustery
Storm
of Blame
It's too much
I don't want to absorb
The energy of dissent
I feel
When you are around
I'm sorry
I just don't think i'm good for you
If you think time and time again
When I make a mistake
When I don't do what you want me to do
Sorry dear
I am an adult
I am not going to do what you want all the time
I can't
You can't handle this?
Well maybe you are right
You are better off alone
Or with your true friends
Who don't intend to harm
I am who I am
This you cannot accept
Can't see past your own account
Of what happened
What happens
What was said
What was spent
I don't want to feel indebted
Or like I am responsible
Your an adult
You make your choices
You live with them
You die with them
They make you who you are
I cannot control this
I cannot keep letting you
take
Over
Can't let you
beat me down
With your words
From the monster
\Living in your soul
I have my own demons to deal with
I have my own life to live
Like I said
Very busy
Doing stuff
For myself
My love
My life
My head
Friday, August 10, 2012
GRAVE DIGGING
An ocean of tears
I lost
Today
For a friend
Who doesn't know what it means
to be grateful
graceful
gentle
kind
Her heart is sad
Is ugly
Bitter
Full of hate
((((It hurts to hear that...
especially when you know it's not true
Full of lies
Just to let you know
This is what you said to me
Plus more that isn't true
But then
It's not really true about you either...)))))
To herself
She made me cry
Until my heart
Was wrung
Dry
Like a cornhusk
Left in the sun
Emptied out
Nothing but air inside
(This is how much I have cried)
It made her feel better
I guess
About herself
Maybe not
Who knows
At this point
The reason
For it has past
To expose my past
Acts
HERE YOU GO EVERYONE!!!
Full of scared little girl
Full of insecurity
Void of light
Nothing good came from the initial act
No love
Nothing good came from her
Bringing it back
This act was not proud
Not done in love
Dignity it lacked
A lot is lacking here I tell you
Namely LOVE
It only took more self worth
(I SHUDDER AT THE MEMORY)
It took more than it gave
All it gave me
(The one who was there, not her...who committed the act)
The act
An act of intimacy
was void of love
Void of trust
Had been voided
Zero Zero Zero
Blinking across it
And how I felt about myself at the time
LIKE A ZERO
The act calls for
The feelings of warmth and love
Neither of those feelings were felt that day
I know there is a reason for everything
The reasons sometimes we are unaware
The universe makes choices for us
I know
That we sometimes are unaware
I want to try to love her again
I really want to forgive
It's not her fault
She is imperfect
But my heart
This time
It does not want to give
I feel like she took something
Private
The cross I bore
A mistake I made
Then turned it into an act of anger
Her own
I could feel it in her words
I could feel HER HATE
She made it
She took it and made it something
About her
With her
All over it
When that it was not
Maybe I deserved this
Act
Of Hate and anger
A lesson I can learn here
And she can thank herself
for this:
I will never tell another secret
From someone else's life
I know now the pain they felt
Violated
Ive been raped by my own life
Not only did I have to remember
The sick feeling I felt inside
I cried I prayed
I apologized to myself
I apologized to God
I let that moment go a long time ago
I TOOK IT BACK
WITH MY PRIDE
((((((((((Yes, I now Proudly Wear this Badge:=)))))))))
When I had to let go of a lot
GOD KNOWS IT WASN'T AN EASY TIME FOR ME
Now I have to feel it
Deep inside my heart
Tearing at me once again
Crying for that girl
I was
That time
That time I did that
I thought that I had let it go
But lone behold there you are
Cheyanne
My dear old friend
BUT WHY ARE YOU YOU YOU HOLDING IT STILL?????
Waiting with it
To strike me in the soul
To remind me
That there was a time
I didn't love myself
That self respect was lacking
Thanks for reminding me girl
That I acted like a disgusting
Whore
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Drama
I never meant to make you bitch
I never meant to anger you
I never meant to say
Things
To
set
you
off
BOOM
Like a sonic blast of bullshit
Drama ensues
Old
Shit
As dirt
We have said it all before
You sound like a BROKEN RECORD
with the same old hurts
with the same complaints
(you probably can't hear me through the sound of your own words)
About life
About love
About money
About health
Please....try and grow
(I do love you, you know )
Chorus
Verse
Chorus
Verse
I really don't care anymore
About the same complaints
And infractions against you
i've committed
because im a shitty person
because I just don't care
(according to you)
Why don't I just kill you?
With all of things that I do wrong?
Blah Blah Blah Blah
I have heard it all before
I guess i'm jaded
Now
But in the past
I have always tried
Ive cried
Argued
Screamed
Until my voice is exhausted
Until my soul
is
Cold
I guess i'm icy
Without a feeling inside
(Black hearted)
Ive given you my reactions
Time and time again
The same complaints
About life
Love
Money
Sex
Trust
Disrespect
Whatever you feel is the problem
Inside your head
I know
It never gets better
It always gets worse
A thing never changes
HELLO
You have to change it first
Inside of you
It sours
It get's old
Please forgive me if im not crying
Forgive me if I lack regret
Empathy
Can't feel it
Sorry
I guess
Happy Birthday
Whatever
It's all the same
When your words stem from drama
Drama is you
I never meant to anger you
I never meant to say
Things
To
set
you
off
BOOM
Like a sonic blast of bullshit
Drama ensues
Old
Shit
As dirt
We have said it all before
You sound like a BROKEN RECORD
with the same old hurts
with the same complaints
(you probably can't hear me through the sound of your own words)
About life
About love
About money
About health
Please....try and grow
(I do love you, you know )
Chorus
Verse
Chorus
Verse
I really don't care anymore
About the same complaints
And infractions against you
i've committed
because im a shitty person
because I just don't care
(according to you)
Why don't I just kill you?
With all of things that I do wrong?
Blah Blah Blah Blah
I have heard it all before
I guess i'm jaded
Now
But in the past
I have always tried
Ive cried
Argued
Screamed
Until my voice is exhausted
Until my soul
is
Cold
I guess i'm icy
Without a feeling inside
(Black hearted)
Ive given you my reactions
Time and time again
The same complaints
About life
Love
Money
Sex
Trust
Disrespect
Whatever you feel is the problem
Inside your head
I know
It never gets better
It always gets worse
A thing never changes
HELLO
You have to change it first
Inside of you
It sours
It get's old
Please forgive me if im not crying
Forgive me if I lack regret
Empathy
Can't feel it
Sorry
I guess
Happy Birthday
Whatever
It's all the same
When your words stem from drama
Drama is you
Friday, August 3, 2012
Great to be King
When you peg something
Something you perceive
Something you decide
Is true
So true
It must be
Another point must not exist
You staked your claim
On one opinion
And on one opinion you are stuck
How immovable
Your thoughts must be
Hard as stone
Nothing gives
Not one sentence formed inside your head
With narrow slits you look
At others
Judging
Thinking they must not be as good as I
Snake like slits
You flit your tongue
To taste
To lick
To sit upon your grassy
Throne
King of the hill
The children cry
Run
To overthrow
Your way
Would be absurd
You know best
There is nothing you haven't heard
Not one area needs improvement
Perfect at everything
The way you look
You think
Looks divine
Why can't others see how
LOVELY
you've become
Can't they see how bright you shine
ME ME ME
Over and over
Like a bird that squaks
Incessantly
Hear my thoughts
Hear my opinion
SO what
You don't have one
at least not one that matters
All alone
In that liar's chair
Sit by yourself
Since that's the only voice you seem to hear
Something you perceive
Something you decide
Is true
So true
It must be
Another point must not exist
You staked your claim
On one opinion
And on one opinion you are stuck
How immovable
Your thoughts must be
Hard as stone
Nothing gives
Not one sentence formed inside your head
With narrow slits you look
At others
Judging
Thinking they must not be as good as I
Snake like slits
You flit your tongue
To taste
To lick
To sit upon your grassy
Throne
King of the hill
The children cry
Run
To overthrow
Your way
Would be absurd
You know best
There is nothing you haven't heard
Not one area needs improvement
Perfect at everything
The way you look
You think
Looks divine
Why can't others see how
LOVELY
you've become
Can't they see how bright you shine
ME ME ME
Over and over
Like a bird that squaks
Incessantly
Hear my thoughts
Hear my opinion
SO what
You don't have one
at least not one that matters
All alone
In that liar's chair
Sit by yourself
Since that's the only voice you seem to hear
Thursday, August 2, 2012
White
The hollow shell
You call self
Exists on ITSELF
On pretense
On lines
How to be whole?????
How to love?
How to feel that feeling
That warmth
Molten hot
GOLD
Inside your soul
That
Warm glow
You wish...
Would fill your shell
Your empty metal cage
Cold inside
You hide
From yourself
From the truth
What it really means to be
What does it mean to be real
PINOCCHIO
Your nose keeps getting longer
Longer and Longer oh my
See what happens to your life?
When you weave lie after lie???
I know you are full of light
White
and water
Let's not forget that
God made us from all parts of the earth
From the sunlight inside our souls
To our bodies
Back to the earth
Back to rot
Become trees
Become rock
Become earth itself over time
No reason to lie
No reason to hide
We all end up somewhere
In the end
One place
Probably the same
SO just let it go
My little white
Light
Let it all go
Let yourself go
Forget what you said
You are who you are
Real as can be
Yes
If you wanted to be
But for now
Your a shell
Hollow
Really
Not Well
You call self
Exists on ITSELF
On pretense
On lines
How to be whole?????
How to love?
How to feel that feeling
That warmth
Molten hot
GOLD
Inside your soul
That
Warm glow
You wish...
Would fill your shell
Your empty metal cage
Cold inside
You hide
From yourself
From the truth
What it really means to be
What does it mean to be real
PINOCCHIO
Your nose keeps getting longer
Longer and Longer oh my
See what happens to your life?
When you weave lie after lie???
I know you are full of light
White
and water
Let's not forget that
God made us from all parts of the earth
From the sunlight inside our souls
To our bodies
Back to the earth
Back to rot
Become trees
Become rock
Become earth itself over time
No reason to lie
No reason to hide
We all end up somewhere
In the end
One place
Probably the same
SO just let it go
My little white
Light
Let it all go
Let yourself go
Forget what you said
You are who you are
Real as can be
Yes
If you wanted to be
But for now
Your a shell
Hollow
Really
Not Well
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Love as we know it
Where does love exist
In my feelings
I just know
Once you have deciphered
it
No longer deludes you
When you feel it you know
you know
When you wake
Do you remember
Your dreams
Do you wake up and think of me
My face
Warm sunlight
Shining through
Moonlight
At night
Face on pillow
Stare into my globes
My soul
Inside
This love will never die
When you lay
Your limbs pressed
Against my joints
Hold me just right
In place
Hold tight
Can you feel my love
Can you feel my love
I can feel your love
I can feel your love
Deep inside
Your very look
Your eyes
Your mind
The way you make sure
Sure I know
That you love me
That your bliss is true
Is true
Not Contrived
Take my hand
You already have my head
Walk with me
Along this path
Along this lovers lane
Up
Up
Up
Our love takes me high
Puts me in a place
Far Far Far
Away
From the fear
The Pain
The mistrust
Away we go
Away it flies
That destruction is gone
Our love is New
Our love is Golden
Shining
Worth every second
That we get
On this cloud
Saturday, July 21, 2012
For myself
This is not what I expected life to be
Good thing I let go of preconceived notions
The only way I would allow myself to see
Than I realized they were nothing more that imagination
Nothing more than an illusion my mind created
Created fear of circumstance
Fear of situation
Before they even occurred
An idea of what could happen
Created a situation
HA
You can't control what other people do
You can't assume that they will act or think a certain way
Any manipulations that you try and put on a situation are a meaningless waste of time
I have such a suspicious mind though, I am always assuming
Presuming
Presuming that I know what is going to happen
What someones intentions are
Really? Once I realized that I needed to let this notion go
It changed my life!!!!
Instead of saying NO
I say YES
I say Yes to whatever because you never know
What kind of gifts your path might bestow
Do we have a divine plan
Is there a calculated reason
For everything
I don't think so
I think we have paths
The paths we take
The decisions we make
Affect the life we will have
Inevitably
I have grown
I have grown strong
I feel myself coming
Coming into my own
I know that everything is my life
Is an intricate web of decisions I have made
Others have made
We have no way of knowing what sort of repercussions the choices we make will have
Friday, July 20, 2012
FEAR
"The only thing
we have to fear
is fear itself"
All we really need
Is rationality
Once you touch the heart of a problem
The rest fixes itself
I find this to be true
Two times I have read it
The analysis reads
Two times it is true
The heart of a problem
The root, what lies deep inside
Is where we should look
when we are afraid
when we are scared
of our ego
For our health
An addiction perhaps
Something else?
Afraid we will be left
By a parent
A lover
A friend
Society
I will leave that in there
We have all felt at one time
Left behind
Fear Takes me
It Shakes me
It takes my Mind
Leaves me shuddering
Shaking inside
Heart Racing
IT
SCARES
THE
SHIT
OUT
OF ME
But what do we get
From the Fear
The Fear Itself
The thrill
The scare
The way to sleep at night
One ear cocked toward the door
Waiting Waiting Waiting
Until that something jumps out
BIG SCARY BLACK BEAR
That made me LAUGH
I'm going to leave it right there
What this
is
Really
About
Is Nothing at all
Thank You- F.D.R
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Smile
Make a smile:=)
A little boy
His father
Carrying him
Half asleep
Half Man
Half Animal
All LOVE
All it takes
I asked for something
With my heart opened up
With all the love I knew I had to give
Burning Hot
I thank God
For being there to listen
Whether he is real or not
I won't take that back
I won't fabricate
You decide what you see
We all do
There exists our own reality
There exists our memory
Is it some divine plan/
Fate?
Or just the way the world works
In all it's continuity
The Moments we cherish
The Moments that matter the most
ARE RIGHT NOW
The Past doesn't exist
The future doesn't exist
The ghost of my past subsides
Finally
Like a snake
Away
He slithers
He slides
The past is in the back seat
The future road is obscure
My eyes are on the moment
On my love
On his love
The way we love
The way we know for sure
The love he shows for his blood
His babies
When he carries them so gently
Not to jostle
Not to wake
When he looks into my eyes
Deeply
Hiding no deceptions
Only
Blue
Devotion
Deep
With every loving intention
These are the things that keep me
These are the things I know
Will last into the future
No matter what
The Universe Bestows
A little boy
His father
Carrying him
Half asleep
Half Man
Half Animal
All LOVE
All it takes
sometimes
Is GIVEI asked for something
With my heart opened up
With all the love I knew I had to give
Burning Hot
I thank God
For being there to listen
Whether he is real or not
I won't take that back
I won't fabricate
You decide what you see
We all do
There exists our own reality
There exists our memory
Is it some divine plan/
Fate?
Or just the way the world works
In all it's continuity
The Moments we cherish
The Moments that matter the most
ARE RIGHT NOW
The Past doesn't exist
The future doesn't exist
The ghost of my past subsides
Finally
Like a snake
Away
He slithers
He slides
The past is in the back seat
The future road is obscure
My eyes are on the moment
On my love
On his love
The way we love
The way we know for sure
The love he shows for his blood
His babies
When he carries them so gently
Not to jostle
Not to wake
When he looks into my eyes
Deeply
Hiding no deceptions
Only
Blue
Devotion
Deep
With every loving intention
These are the things that keep me
These are the things I know
Will last into the future
No matter what
The Universe Bestows
Friday, July 13, 2012
Change for Nobody Nohow Nowhere
I've been hearing this, or variations of this lately. In fact, it has come up on three different occasions, from three different people, in varying circumstances.
" He/she hasn't changed at all, they are still the same person they were where we were married."
"I realized that she was the same, and that it wasn't going to work."
"He has to change, if it is going to work."
REALLY?????????
Is it really reasonable, or logical even, to expect someone to CHANGE WHO THEY ARE, in order to make a relationship work?
The "making" a relationship work portion of that also bothers me, but I will address that later.
Change who you are?
I can expect something reasonable, like "You spend to much money, you need to spend more time with me, you need to drink less..etc" These things are interchangeable and habit orientated. The big stuff, like someone being disloyal, selfish, being a liar, having a large ego, sense of humor, being smart, being slow, being healthy, or unhealthy physically , being skinny, being fat,being ugly or being beautiful-these are things that make up a persons physical make up, things that make up there character. These are not things that can be changed- for the most part. Of course, a person can change. I myself have personally seen extensive and beautiful change in a person .But it takes years, and it is a PERSONAL JOURNEY. To expect someone to make these changes, with the pressure of " IF you don't do this this and this, then this relationship is not going to work" is not only stressful, It should also be unnecessary . These changes need to happen before said person enters a relationship.
First of all, who would want to be in a relationship where change is demanded?
Secondly, according to my analysis, people don't generally change.
Just saying. People are who they are. I have also found that the problems a person has in the FIRST THREE MONTHS of the relationship are the problems that will continue into the relationship. DUH.
If someone cheats in the first part of your relationship, they are probably a cheater.
If you catch them in a lie, they are probably a liar.
If they spend too much money, or act irresponsibly with it, they probably have a money problem.
If they seem controlling they probably are.
Gee, what a concept.
Now, I did not come to these conclusions without having some relationship hardship in my own life. An eye opening experience, so to speak.
This is what that BULLSHIT taught me: to be real. Be so real, that the person you are with, will either run screaming in the other direction, or love you for who you really, really are. Character flaws and all. This eliminates the need for change later on. Seeing the other person for who they really, really are, also eliminated the need for the fictitious change as well.
It also eliminates the need to "bury your head in the sand" another option, if you don't feel like confronting.
The point is this. We shouldn't need to ask the person we are with to CHANGE. If it doesn't work, the way they are, then it's not going to work. There is no point in trying to "Make" it work either, because if it's not supposed to work, and we keep trying to fit that nasty square peg into that nasty round hole the universe will decide for us, and that Mother does not play around.
" He/she hasn't changed at all, they are still the same person they were where we were married."
"I realized that she was the same, and that it wasn't going to work."
"He has to change, if it is going to work."
REALLY?????????
Is it really reasonable, or logical even, to expect someone to CHANGE WHO THEY ARE, in order to make a relationship work?
The "making" a relationship work portion of that also bothers me, but I will address that later.
Change who you are?
I can expect something reasonable, like "You spend to much money, you need to spend more time with me, you need to drink less..etc" These things are interchangeable and habit orientated. The big stuff, like someone being disloyal, selfish, being a liar, having a large ego, sense of humor, being smart, being slow, being healthy, or unhealthy physically , being skinny, being fat,being ugly or being beautiful-these are things that make up a persons physical make up, things that make up there character. These are not things that can be changed- for the most part. Of course, a person can change. I myself have personally seen extensive and beautiful change in a person .But it takes years, and it is a PERSONAL JOURNEY. To expect someone to make these changes, with the pressure of " IF you don't do this this and this, then this relationship is not going to work" is not only stressful, It should also be unnecessary . These changes need to happen before said person enters a relationship.
First of all, who would want to be in a relationship where change is demanded?
Secondly, according to my analysis, people don't generally change.
Just saying. People are who they are. I have also found that the problems a person has in the FIRST THREE MONTHS of the relationship are the problems that will continue into the relationship. DUH.
If someone cheats in the first part of your relationship, they are probably a cheater.
If you catch them in a lie, they are probably a liar.
If they spend too much money, or act irresponsibly with it, they probably have a money problem.
If they seem controlling they probably are.
Gee, what a concept.
Now, I did not come to these conclusions without having some relationship hardship in my own life. An eye opening experience, so to speak.
This is what that BULLSHIT taught me: to be real. Be so real, that the person you are with, will either run screaming in the other direction, or love you for who you really, really are. Character flaws and all. This eliminates the need for change later on. Seeing the other person for who they really, really are, also eliminated the need for the fictitious change as well.
It also eliminates the need to "bury your head in the sand" another option, if you don't feel like confronting.
The point is this. We shouldn't need to ask the person we are with to CHANGE. If it doesn't work, the way they are, then it's not going to work. There is no point in trying to "Make" it work either, because if it's not supposed to work, and we keep trying to fit that nasty square peg into that nasty round hole the universe will decide for us, and that Mother does not play around.
I guess I want to share, mainly because I have had these realizations the past year and am now in a NO bull relationship where I know we are 100 percent honest and 100 percent committed to having a healthy relationship. I want people who I love to know, that there is hope for love, even when it feels like the blackest hole with no light, the saddest sad with no hope. That we don't have to make excuses to be loved. We can be who we are. We can bare our soul and still be loved, and if you do bare your soul, and the person turns away, they weren't meant to be:=)
Monday, July 9, 2012
Constitution
Here's the problem. Baggage. Why do we heave it around? Why do we insist on taking things that hurt us and burrowing them deep inside of us, carrying them around like a rotten fruit seed? Fermenting and stinking, it turns to mush, until we are not even that sure what we are still UPSET about. UGH- all the while our insides are rotting away, along with our true character, our true selves. Before you know it, you are apologizing to yourself, for being you. I hate that shit. That is literally what it is, too. Shit...shit that feels bad inside. Shit you let bother you, for no good damn reason.
This is how I feel lately. I carry around this baggage, and for me it is one hundred percent emotional baggage- that is completely unnecessary in my life, and for my mental happiness, for the sake of the happiness of my new relationship, for the sake of my time, and time I would rather be doing anything else- I am letting go.
I am letting go of every past remark that has made me angry or sad.
I am letting go of the idea that I am not good enough.
I am letting go of the fear that I will be abandoned.
I am letting go of not being able to fully, one hundred percent trust my LOVE because of trust issue bullshit.
I am letting go of past bullshit and transgressions that have been done to me.
I am letting go of being left holding my wedding dress.
I am letting go of the thought that this could happen again, I am leaving behind the thoughts that I have allowed my ego to control.
Self preservation has turned into self destruction. There is no way that I am going to let this negativity ruin my mind. I have come to far, have been wounded- and self healed myself to let this BULLSHIT UPSET ME!!
I will not let my thoughts control me, I control my thoughts
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