What about.....

Self aware
Self doubt
Where do you go
When you don't know what you are doing?
What do you say when you don't know
What you want
Live in the moment
The universe implies
But what about the future
What about the past
Do these things matter
Or are they obsolete
Feel the need to defend
The choices that were made
How do you
When they weren't yours
How do you define
Hurt
How do you define Healing
How do you
You just do
Wake up one day and realize
The Past is long behind you
A crumb of thought
One that can be swept away
Still learning
Learning
Learning everyday
And that is what is important
That you are still growing
Making decisions
For yourself
Not for someone else
What you really want
You don't know
Go with the flow
Don't analyze
No self doubt
Erase that
Erase that
Erase that

By: Stephan Bodian

Any relationship between two separate selves is destined to be unfulfilling, because it's based on a lie. I perceive you to be out there, apart from me, and I'm struggling to bridge the imaginary gap and connect with you--or perhaps to withdraw and discon...nect. I want to know what you think, where you come from, where you've been, what you identify with so I can learn how to manipulate and control the relationship--but I never make real, vital contact with who you (and I) really are. In fact, most relationships take place between two false selves, two life histories, two conglomerations of beliefs, identities, biases, and expectations. They're based on negotiation, on getting my needs met, on comparing and contrasting what I have with what I want, and on trying to mitigate the pain of separation by creating brief moments of intimacy. But the basic premise of such relationships is mistaken. We're already one, and true relationship occurs in the recognition and joy of this shared oneness, which is genuine intimacy. When I know myself to be nothing/everything and experience you too as nothing/everything, all apparent separation drops away, and we dance together in the mystery of the One at play in the multiplicity of forms. Love is who we are, we can't possibly find it out there. At the same time, true relationship offers the opportunity to share the love that we are with another person, to resonate together in the love, which allows the experience of the love to deepen and grow. Encountering the other who is also our very own self is one of the most precious experiences available to us as human beings. For many people, this only occurs for a short period of time, at the beginning of a relationship, when they're "in love," then gradually or quickly fades. But it's possible to live in love in every encounter--which just means to live as this timeless moment and share it knowingly with "another." (Of course, for some mysterious reason, each of us is drawn to particular people who seem to quicken this love in us more than others.
I read this today...and loved it...I want to read..re-read and meditate it...
Relationships, whether they are for fun...or two people looking for deeper meaning and companionship tend to do this..The way that I relate to it, and what I am going to take from it, is just be yourself. Treat a romantic relationship like a friendship.No holds barred. That is what it should be inevitably any way, and if you aren't conducting your romantic relationships like this, then you aren't really allowing your true personality to shine through. This for me is hard to do, this is something that I want to work on. If someone is going to know me, they are going to know me for who I really am..All parts.

Full moon tonight

If you look too deep you will miss what is on the surface.

Rules

The "Rules" of dating are simple.
Be aggressive
Don't be aggressive
Be the chaser
Let them chase you
Ask questions
Don't ask too Many questions
Obsess
Don't obsess
Overanalyze
Don't Overanalyze
Assume
Don't assume
Haahaa yes this cracks me up!!
As new to the "dating" scene
as I am I realize, there really are NO rules
You just have to be yourself and don't question everything
If it "Meant to be" everything else will just fall into place
Life is too short to wait
Seize the moment because you might not get a chance to do what you want or say what you want to say later
Always be honest!! Really if you aren't it will all come out in the wash eventually
Quit looking for "Red" Flags instead Look For "Green" to go...LOL or Yellow to proceed slowly. Or don't look for anything at all...just let it happen, do what you want.Do what feels right...If someone you meet is overanalyzing you then they are probably looking for problems because we all have them. We all have issues with our past, but the past does not have to define our futures. Learning from past experiences is healthy, but it should not define or wash out into our current liasons.
Best dating advice I have given myself lately is really live in the power of the moment, don't hesitate-because you are just pressing pause and who wants to pause in the middle of time..and that is really what it is..we choose to spend the time in our life with someone and let them in and make them a part of that...so why stop and hesitate, plunge right in head first, be yourself and let them see who you really are, without questioning yourself or you intentions, or their intentions...Live happily when you are alone, with family or friends and that inner peace and happiness will wash out into your new relationship!
This is my afternoon babbling rant:)

Romantics

Does sadness feed my inspirations
Does it fuel my imagination
Do I crave the troubled souls
To make myself whole
Do I obsess on others and be codependant
Worrying about them and their Restrains
What do I want deep inside
How to achieve and make it thrive
I want a family
Love as true as my own
To cast out the past
Start shiny and New
I want adoration
Without manipulations
Someones heart with out stipulations
To feel the lift in my gut
Of elation and safety and heartfelt devotion
Will I settle for less
Not at this time
I will find what I want
I will take my time
I want love that is slow
Someone who lingers over a thought
Let's make it happen
Let anxiety go
A tender heart that knows what he wants
An open door in the universe
To walk through hand in hand.

Go Ladies!!!

Woman!
We are much more emotionally in tune than men...most of the time
We can handle pain
We have the ability to bear children and nurture them with our bodies
We kick ass in general in life...Get the job done that needs to get done and look good while doing it!
This subject kept coming up today..so I wanted to comment on it.
You go girls..Take over those action films..take over the country.
Take over the world!

Scenario:)

The word of the day is scenario.
Each day our scenario changes
Each year it changes more
Sometimes it stays the same
Sometimes it changes for the better
Sometimes for what you may think is the worst
Such fear I used to have of change
There was nothing more terrifying to me
Than having to cast myself out into the world
And experience New things
Abruptly my scenario changed
The plot of the Play of my life took a turn
Now there is nothing more exciting to me
Than what each new day
What each new experience will bring
The mundane way in which my life was heading
Was anything but dull to me at the time
But now I know
Now I see
How exciting new experiences
New chances to grow
New ideas
Really are
I thought I had to fill every moment of my life with love
and Pleasing someone else
Like I had something to prove
Now I live for myself
And I see who I really am
Standing alone
Still a lover
Still a giver
But on my terms
Not because I think I have to be to maintain a relationship
So when your scenario
Your plot changes
Don't be a afraid
Because every ending in your life
Is just a new beginning

It happens to us all

Sad and Melancholy
Dejected
Some don't know
Low self esteem
Little voices
We don't listen to
Wandering down a road
Never choosing the right fork
Unaware you are drifting
Along in life
Not knowing
Ignorance is an excuse
Life will expose
Eventually
Our fears
Our wants
Our hurts
Rip away
Delusions
Your in a bubble
But look outside
Mistakes we make
Other wise we wouldn't be ALIVE
The wise say learn from others
But young and free
We make our own choices
To hurt
To Drift
To wander through life
Nothing happens by chance
It's all mapped out
What's for the best
Or the worst
For each of us
Life knows just what we need
To learn
To grow
To sustain
To hurt
To love
To feel sometimes
AN unexpected rush of emotion
The unexpected
Sometimes takes us by surprise
We don't know how melancholy
Our lives have become
Until The wave
The surprise
The pain
Or the elation
Knocks us on our feet
Only wiser do we grow
As life comes in waves
And makes us take hits
Of IT
Hits of life
Hints of wisdom
Socked away
That one day
You use
Apply
Then eventually
You die.

See

When your eyes get opened Then you see Sometimes you want to stay in delusion Something comes along to pop that bubble Makes you feel free again Everything is new Hope Now you know anything can change in an instant Enjoy what you have while it is happening Because you just never know Humans are infallible Only time stands still When you are together It feels real It feels surreal Okay to hurt Because then you can appreciate HAPPY WOW That is how I feel this morning!

Brain Food

The brain is a powerful machine.mechanism...masterful work of art

If you keep telling yourself something

Rationalizing

Working through

Eventually it will become real

Become truth

Be it good or bad

We can convince ourselves of anything

I was in California last week

Visiting Family

A family friend recently started having seizures.

For no reason

Grand mal

Now even though she was always bright and intelligent,

she is now acting like a child

As a self defense mechanism

Her brain has figured out

On it's own that what is triggering them

Is her emotional Responses to Nostalgia and such

So even though she never was before

She is becoming harder and more well...bitchy

Her brain is acting on its own to do what she no longer can

Preserve itself

Should we? Do we not do? The same things in our day to day life

If someone hurts us.Makes us happy.

What we do to hurt ourselves?

Make ourselves happy?

Make allowances

Find yourself out of your box once in a while

Give your brain a jog

See what it comes up with

It really is quiet amazing when you think about it

What you know and don't know

On a scholarly and emotional level

And what you have yet to explore.

Reincarnation

Today at least

On a little cloud again

For now at least

How quickly things change

In the scheme of things

Take each day

And make it count

Don't look back

Don't discount

Don't settle for less

Look at yourself

What you really want

Go for it

Feels like a dream

Real and surreal

Like a movie played

Only for real

I never thought

I would feel like this

So soon

But so long it took

Don't ever think

The next day won't bring

A change

For good or for worse

Not until death do you part

Just until life

Tells you where to stop and where to start

Really look Now

See what matters

When the hearts concerned

Don't make allowance

Leaving for California Today with a smile on my face..surrounded by love of friends and family...warm beautiful weather, the sun is shining...I am full of love and light! It is going to be an awesome and amazing adventure!

April First

Take back LOVE

Erase the care

What would that make me

Empty as a shell

A blue robins egg.

Emptied out

Ever in love

I don't know

Where did it go

It's not here

Summer is coming

Psychic told me

Seasons come

Seasons go

Ten summers in a lifetime

Is nothing

But feels like everything right now

A date

Sentimental Fool

it would seem

You can give it all away

But it will still be there to SMACK You in the face

EVEN AS YOU PRAY NOT TO BE TAKEN AWAY

Look away

Can't face the day

Time for bed

Take care of yourself

Health is the best

Love takes Love gives

Love provides filler in your life

When your not looking Slaps you in the face

Death it feels like

Only worse Because your not

Only gone away

Tell me not to move away Tell me to be alone

While you fill your time

With shit and grime

Dark places I can feel your thoughts

From the front of your head

They radiate Negativity Darkness

Thoughts atrocity

Ruled by your eyes

Your touch

Whats inside Feels like shit

But it's okay As long as I remain In your life Miserably

But thats okay You never cared anyway.

SO fuck you and fuck this fucking day.