Really

I'm bored and I have a lot on my mind lately.
I feel like I have all the answers. But nobody has the answers for me. Answers for my lifes questions and conundrums. Everyone is always too buisy, and I am always too buisy with everyone elses problems too address my own feelings about things that are bugging me. 99.9% of the time this works to my advantage in that my own minor problems end up being just that, minor and they just go away if I don't turn them into issues.
The least I can do for myself right now is address the minor issues by writing them down.
I don't really know how minor they really are, and if I write them down they will cease to be minor and I will have to confront them...dammit.
I want more time for myself outside of the house doing something that will enrich me. The only problem with this is then my house falls apart(thanks mom) and there fore I feel like I need to be on top of things 100 percent of the time which isn't fair. For example. Not to bitch but yes, to bitch. I am sick for a few days and the dishwasher can't get emptied. UM. Hello Geoffrey. I need to have a talk with him about this but first I need to find out what I want to do for some sort of extra curricular type enriching experience. I am such a homebody and a loner.
Second. I have to stop giving all my time to Cheyanne unless she wants to go do something other than just hanging out at her house talking. It is non-productive. I am broke, is not an exuse that is going to fly because you have plenty of money to do plenty of other stuff. That's all.

"I"

I hate getting bad news on answering machines
I hate people who drive slow because there talking on there cell phone.
I hate it when people abandon there friendships.
I hate birds, especially pigeons and crows.
I hate racism.
I hate it when animals who are loved die.
I hate being sick. It's annoying.
I hate it when people take people for granted.
I hate the sound of a baby crying.
I hate long boring books.
I hate people who hate everything, and nothing is ever good enough.
I hate the smell of Papayas.
I hate waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep.
I hate it when people scream into the phone.
I hate heavy metal.
I hate arrogance.
I hate my neighbors upstairs.
I hate it when people complain to complain.
I hate it when people talk about commiting suicide all the time, and never do it.
I hate LIES.
I hate a bad hair cut.
I hate it when my house is dirty.
I hate feeling old.
I love any kind of weather inclement or calm.
I love books of any kind.
I love making love.
I love my bed.
I love hot tea.
I love things that are beautiful.
I love poems.
I love for people to tell me there feelings.
I love secrets.
I love my job.
I love my Geoffrey.
I love my mom.
I love my friends, even if we are oh so different sometimes.
I love to drink beer.
I love my nasty cigarettes.
I love baths.
I love pools.
I love the sun.
I love to sleep and dream.
I love the wisdom that I have.
I love my house.
I love my cats.
I love to cook.
I love to talk.
I love to read.
I love to reminisce.
I love my dictionary.
I love breakfast.
I love to cuddle.
I love to laugh so hard.
I love the ocean.
I love the desert sky.
I love my sisters.
I love my memories.
I love the life that I have had.

It's hard being a boy

About a month or so ago, Geoff told me " Don't make any plans for me on Saturday, April 11th" Like I ever make plans for him. Being the car aficionado that he is he is planning on going to a once a year event that he looks forward to sponsored by his favorite car magazine blahblahblah. Anyway, I know that he is super stoked to go with his close friend and fellow car aficionado( I had to look that up for spelling so I want to use it as much as possible to pay off for my hard work) Rob. Who is with Tina( madly in love with) Who is coincidentally one of my dearest and nearest friends. Let me get to the point. Boys are primitive when it comes to telling there friends how they really feel. Rob decides to go out to California to see his lover-girl that weekend. Instead of telling Geoff. " Hey, I am going to California to see Tina that weekend" When he found out he was going to California that weekend, he avoids him at work and starts acting " strangely" ( By Geoffs account) Me, being sensitive to Geoff loves for cars ( NOTE the sarcasm) does not put 2+2 together that the weekend Rob is going to see Tina is the weekend of the revered once a year car show, and just thinks that Rob is acting strangely. I attribute the strangeness to his head being in the clouds with his love( or up his ass, or up her ass ahahahahaah) When Geoff finally finds out that Rob is not going with him this weekend, he is upset. Sad. Butthurt. But mostly sad. I can see it in his face, hear it in his voice. He was really really looking forward to this, that they had planned quiet a while ago event. Understandably, plus Rob is his only friend. We are driving around doing errands yesterday, and I say to him, " Well, can't you just tell Rob that you are upset and that you really wanted to go with him. " Appanantly that would break some sort of male code. " No" he says, " I am going to punch him in the stomach and say " knock it off shit head." It's hard being a boy isn't it? Yes he says. Ultimately, even though I really don't want to, I am going to the car show with him this Saturday, it's hours of walking around looking at cars and smelling gasoline, but for him, I would do anything.