Heaven and Earth

If shame and hurt and fear
Haunt me
Take my life, my happiness
Turn me into something
Less than white, less than me
Less than passionate
If Ages tell the truth
Men need that, and Men need this
Metal in my veins, metal in my blood
She always says this is How it is
This is how it was.
If we all have holes, do they take
Or do they give
Does our past make us strong
Or Take from our future?

It's already ruined, She says
Her eyes, her voice, a thead
She's Me, only much smaller
Metal in my veins, makes me stronger
Fire against Metal
Bends

One book ends
Another One begins
This one might be better
Let's see
She said.

When the little girl
Goes
This woman emerges
(From a forest)
Of course

Is She triumphant
Or burdened down
With too much
Emotional stow

Does She wait
Or does she Go
Does she know?
Or are the voices in her head
Too loud
Telling her

One way is not the other?
Or it it?
Does she even know?
Are the ghosts howling out?
Or is it inside of her Self?
Does she know what's inside?
Is it fabrication?
What we feel?
Are our feelings delusions?

What he says is always poignant
True
She takes it, she stows
Drops off what she had
It's rotten now, anyhow
Time to leave it, to grow

It's a fabrication of a world
If ruined is already happened
Inside your head
His words a feeling
His face locked in her mind
Locked up in memory and time

She knows what she feels
Is real
A matter of the sky, and heaven and hell
Forever is locked into Her, into her will

A Man who came into her life
Who She knows is the one for her
He tells her, she tells him
They know it, they know

She's not stuck with the past, it haunts her
A place that took, until it took it all
Left not a single drop of love inside of her
Now She's full
Now She still wants more
She's scared
She's elated
She knows what happens
She fails
Between Earth and Heaven
She sits and She waits
In the blue of his eyes
When he knows
He knows
Yet she waits, she sits she sits with her stew
She waits with her stow
Of tears and dreams
That make her feel
Deranged and shaken
Disgusted with herself, and pleased
She sits, and she waits
She sits and she waits and she tells the truth
She emerges from the forest triumphant
The little girl inside of her cries, for all that she knows
She does, when she doesn't really want to do
Patiently
Is how she would like to wait, but she's sick
She's deranged
In her dreams, and with her past haunting her
His haunting him, reaching up to grab
To take the love, they want
They have
They share

In the Blue of his eyes
For the colors of love and the sky
For permanent happiness here on Earth
In the sky, to love and live
In Heaven's eyes
Can't wait, let's begin
She wishes it came out, it left
It leaves


Instead the little girl speaks
Who cries, and begs
Please just love me, just give me a chance
Let's do it let's do it, let's do it now
The little girl can't wait
For her dream to begin, so she cries
So she begs
She stews and sits

She emerges triumphant anyway
For Earth is solid, the sky is timeless
She is grace.
She is beautiful.
She stands tall.
She is proud .

Eye of Time

How do you describe what beauty is to you?
Light hangs from the sky, his eyes
Our eyes, lock and lay
I love you, means YOU
Who you are, what you are
How you are, what you do
The sweet gentle grace, that happens
When beauty in the sky, falls
A Soul is beautiful, as it rises and floats
His face is all I can see, sweet
Whole as a Moon, His soul
A beast from the sky
Heaven is here
I will take you in the Meadow
Howl with you
Stay here, come nearer
Happening Forever
Heaven and Here
A green meadow holds beauty
Never grows old, never fades
Love's first kiss never fades
In our minds it holds love
Even after it's long gone and fades
Love again, look at a  meadow
Of beauty and love, Earth's light
Particles floating in air
The light is soft when you look up
The Pines glory is Tall
Beauty in the trees
Love warm and safe
Time holds all, hold on
Love and Time
Earth's timeless Vastness
She holds it all, I hold it all
Me and Time in his eyes

Days and Nights
Inky blue, watching over me
She is here
Timeless, Still
My eyes, they have seen her
The whitest white you can see
Thru a lens, with my eye
With his arm around my waist
Night in a vast place
I looked and I saw the whitest white
Of the Moon, that is Space
She keeps me safe
He keeps me safe
Warm and safe
Created in love, and it we carry
In us, we are time and place
Solid as Earth, we are here
Marveling at the beauty of Space
Our own mind touches beauty
Remembers her in times
When I walk in the Meadow
Of solace
Nature I carry with me
And she carries me
Through
Love
and time

Fyr

Firs
Winter never comes
But through my dreams I see her
Snow white, bright as ice
Solstice moons full as a face painted white
He showed me Earth from Saturn
A spec, unreal
As if we don't exist at all
Insignificant/Special
Amidst the endless blackness space
Dreams through windows seen
Family Family Family
We need to keep on loving
We need to keep the faith
Keep on dreaming, keep on keeping
Keep believing what is true
Shining light, shining white
Thru the pines
In my dreams walking, running
Flying above
Blue and white Vast
As the ocean
Open/Free/Limitless
The air catches me higher
I am everywhere
Earth changes, I am everywhere
I am everywhere, Blue Earth
In dreams, infinite worlds
That could be, every second
Here on God's green earth
White light, keep my soul white
Bathed \ in light
She ( I ) lay in water
Deep as the ocean, yes
At the bottom I lie
I keep, I float
I dream of times unseen
Of my life, and yours
When it comes I cry
Comes pouring forth
From the deepest Love
Deepest part of soul
I know not what these things mean
Only how they feel as they come pouring forth
Why my thoughts are what they are
When I lived in another time, the memories
Are real
I have- may be from here
From another time
Everywhere
Rules of the Universe are hidden
Ice on Mercury
Pondering
Of me of you
Of another time
Of somebody else
A long time ago
I was somebody, but she got lost
Now in the firs and the sunlight
I am coming home, my path bathed in light
I am everywhere, as are you
Thru the forest, the light shining through
Here I am
Found
Bathing in golden light, I am Queen
Just in time to claim my place
In my Kings arms
His blue eyes
His soul pure
Heart warm
I have arrived to take his side
Bathed in Green and light

Merry Man

You are an enchanting man
The sweetest man I have ever known
Honey, you know
I never want to take you for granted
You are kind, I won't forget that
When you love me so gently, when you love
I know, you don't hold back
I love your face and each breath you take
To me is Magic, I want to be near you
Warm, your heart, bigger than big
All my love I pour into it, you recieve and return
I love you Honey, Merry Christmas

Nermal

Rest in peace 

My baby girl

My pretty pretty kitty

I love you so much

I'm glad we knew each other

And had the time we did

Many times you comforted me

Purring by my head

Time and time again

You sat next to me while I read

Made me laugh with things you did

Cuddled up, we took a nap

My little baby girl

Fuzzy penguin belly

I will never forget you, best friend 

May your dreams be sweet forever

In your nine lives

I hope we find each other again

In my heart, you will remain forever

Best kitty forever

Rest in peace Nermal

I will always miss you!!!!!

Nermal Fuoco

12-13-12

R.I.P.

Mama Baby Girl

Poker Face

You see me thru eyes, that you wish knew
What to love is
What your choices are, well that is clear
You are a hollow as a vase, yes , and as fragile
I know, we All know, ILL
Not ready still, to face the world
But if not now then when will you?
If you could see what I see
Through  eyes that have seen the raw
Bleeding core of self, stand alone and face herself
Well, when you see yourself, is when you will see
Real
When you STAND on your two feet
When you STAND on your two feet and LIE
and Speculate, call it TRUTH
But we all know, it's not
Reputation is solid, words you throw
Hollow and transparent as your SELF
Stand Sick and Lie
Dismiss that thought, like every other you have ever had
Transparent, empty, and without Regret you stand
But Life doesn't lie, and Neither do I
A morality, I uphold for myself
For myself I hold alone, for my actions
Myself is enough to keep the truth in me
For I hold myself Up high
I have worked too hard, to let anything take that away from me
It is light, but it holds my feet to the ground
Rooted as a tree, I stand
I hold MY ground
All that I hold steady, is within me
All that I love I hold, in my embrace
My warm love all my loves need to keep them safe
Safe from harm, our truth sets us free from you
Silently I laugh inside my head, of all you think you hold
When inside it's empty, and all you hold is in front of you
That should be enough, but it's not
Because you are all filled up with lies, and with distaste
Cheats, and lies and names
A house of cards that will crumble under the truth
Your poker face is blank, but let it up
Whats real is here, here in front of you
And all you have should be enough, but you keep filling up
Keep filling up with lies, with drama, with the hate you stir
Your reputation is what it is, you can't change that
Actions don't lie, so fold B
What you have is right in front of your face
Repeat
Repeat
Repeat it doesn't matter what anyone says
Your brain and logic closed for business long ago
In front of the TV you sit, you rot
You couldn't keep your legs shut then, so go find a another bank
I call that a gold digger, always have and my opinion formed long ago
Of people who do it, and who do what you do
That is your reputation I have heard
AND ISN' WHAT WE "HEAR" THE TRUTH
Acording to you is it, according to the file
With your names, and your redundant crazy repution preceding you
Laughing Laughing Laughing so Hard, my face hurts
Among other good things out of the mouth of your offspring
Innocent laughter rings from them, not fear
How dare you take a relationship that God had put in place beween man and sons
Turn it into something UGLY, inside of you this all springs, and UGLINESS lives there
 I always tell only things of LOVE when it comes to you and THEM
Not even that respect you grant when you turn them and use them, against there father
SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!
A refreshing thing, for everyone
Who CHOOSE to love them, without any strings
There are many who do, for it is them and only them
Who make them who they are
You are a part of this
And
For the reason for the relationship you have
With my man bear, For I love him
Beyond what any comprehension you will ever have
Based on your reputation and what you did to him
In the past, present NOW
This reputation speaks and when you left you did
Now that is a fact
But you forgot to bring that up in your filing?
Didn't you?
When you lie, and try to pass it off as concern it worries me
Sociopaths do that very same thing, do you know what " concern" means
Do you know what you are even saying when you speak
All I hear is idiocracy
Blahhh Blahh Blahhh
MEE MEE MEE
The same way, I see it
As a  three year old, or an adolescent throwing herself  a pity party
Your own chemicals need to be examined as I see it, for there is,
According to your LIFE, IMBALANCE
This is fact
What shall we do, as we watch your house of cards come crashing down
I have cried already, I have screamed, I have laughed
It's almost silly, except the law is not
When you open up Pandora's box, you better be ready for what is coming OUT
You better hold down your fort
I am a storm of words,  logic, reason and fact
All the things the law will uphold in fact
700 is the number, and you are willing to bet all that you've got
But the way I  see it, it's  zero next to your name
Not mine, and only you can change it
(That's self worth, not MONEY, i'm sure you missed that)
Except the only thing that matters, it isn't MONEY
it isn't a Poker game, it's life
We will not hold back, just so you know
Here comes a storm, hold down your fort
Hold onto what REALLY MATTERS
What you have already GOT

Lovely Literature

The waste you spew, I distaste
It leaves nothing but air, broken
Weak, and with no self respect to collect
That's where you failed, you forgot
You dismissed dignity, and without
You wither, you waste
You take up space, and space to fill
With what
Rot you are, and I know
I have some hate
I need to purge it, here onto this page
You forgot how to BE  a long long time ago, and with that
Logic collapsed, disappeared long ago
With your brains, synapse
Collapsed with your class, that never happened
Now too late, you have no where to go
Stay away from here, this place we hold dear
This place we call home, you can't come
We are not scared, for we have nothing to fear
When all is revealed, how sad to see
That your words mean nothing, and neither do you
Not here, in this house, and never will you be asked back here
If action and proof doesn't back than your cracked
Your threats hay, empty they burn and burn and burn
Don't play with fire, it might come back to haunt you
Stay away, stay away
( Never goes away)
What we have here, is solid as a rock
Solid and circular, for it has no beginning and no end
Our love is one thing that's sure, even as we shout
That is what we know, what we hold true
Words with love are the ones that pass through our mouth
We don't degrade each other, it's REAL
This to the heavens I thank and I shout
So if you want to know, let me tell you
Only in yourself will you find ridiculous delusions
Only in your face will you see your eyes and the lies they tell to BE
Only you can change, what I see
Obviously, is (well) we won't say
Even though I am having a day, a day of rhyme, and day of reason
A day of hate, when red burns so hot it's blue
My heat boils and snaps, like lava
Hotter than hot, and covering all that I choose
NOT YOU
I am logic, and a rock of reason
Qualities you don't possess
Then cools, to the soft touch of love and white ice
The rights you have now, could boil could stew
Everything you take for granted could be gone tomorrow, don't blink
It might disappear, than what do you do?
Where do you go when it all disperses, to the only place you have
That is you, and where will you go?
Maybe then you will look to yourself, look inside
See what is making you do, what you do
Where will you take yourself when you make what you make?
What life you end up in, when you take all you can take?
What you have taken, you can have
Keep it, it's yours, nobody wants its rottenness stinking allure
For it's nothing but lies, all that you have told
In a manner that's not direct, but rather round about
The ending is clear, you have nothing
You want to protect what you have
What you care about for YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU
Yes, I know all about you
Your selfish desires
Now you don't know who you are, or what to do
So you are sitting and stewing, and trying to survive
You look here you look there, to strengthen your tenuous ties
But that won't work now, you see, you took it all
Boiled the children for stew, now there is none left for him
Or for him, or for whoever you choose to suckle from, the waste you are
Is clear