An ocean of tears
I lost
Today
For a friend
Who doesn't know what it means
to be grateful
graceful
gentle
kind
Her heart is sad
Is ugly
Bitter
Full of hate
((((It hurts to hear that...
especially when you know it's not true
Full of lies
Just to let you know
This is what you said to me
Plus more that isn't true
But then
It's not really true about you either...)))))
To herself
She made me cry
Until my heart
Was wrung
Dry
Like a cornhusk
Left in the sun
Emptied out
Nothing but air inside
(This is how much I have cried)
It made her feel better
I guess
About herself
Maybe not
Who knows
At this point
The reason
For it has past
To expose my past
Acts
HERE YOU GO EVERYONE!!!
Full of scared little girl
Full of insecurity
Void of light
Nothing good came from the initial act
No love
Nothing good came from her
Bringing it back
This act was not proud
Not done in love
Dignity it lacked
A lot is lacking here I tell you
Namely LOVE
It only took more self worth
(I SHUDDER AT THE MEMORY)
It took more than it gave
All it gave me
(The one who was there, not her...who committed the act)
The act
An act of intimacy
was void of love
Void of trust
Had been voided
Zero Zero Zero
Blinking across it
And how I felt about myself at the time
LIKE A ZERO
The act calls for
The feelings of warmth and love
Neither of those feelings were felt that day
I know there is a reason for everything
The reasons sometimes we are unaware
The universe makes choices for us
I know
That we sometimes are unaware
I want to try to love her again
I really want to forgive
It's not her fault
She is imperfect
But my heart
This time
It does not want to give
I feel like she took something
Private
The cross I bore
A mistake I made
Then turned it into an act of anger
Her own
I could feel it in her words
I could feel HER HATE
She made it
She took it and made it something
About her
With her
All over it
When that it was not
Maybe I deserved this
Act
Of Hate and anger
A lesson I can learn here
And she can thank herself
for this:
I will never tell another secret
From someone else's life
I know now the pain they felt
Violated
Ive been raped by my own life
Not only did I have to remember
The sick feeling I felt inside
I cried I prayed
I apologized to myself
I apologized to God
I let that moment go a long time ago
I TOOK IT BACK
WITH MY PRIDE
((((((((((Yes, I now Proudly Wear this Badge:=)))))))))
When I had to let go of a lot
GOD KNOWS IT WASN'T AN EASY TIME FOR ME
Now I have to feel it
Deep inside my heart
Tearing at me once again
Crying for that girl
I was
That time
That time I did that
I thought that I had let it go
But lone behold there you are
Cheyanne
My dear old friend
BUT WHY ARE YOU YOU YOU HOLDING IT STILL?????
Waiting with it
To strike me in the soul
To remind me
That there was a time
I didn't love myself
That self respect was lacking
Thanks for reminding me girl
That I acted like a disgusting
Whore
No comments:
Post a Comment