Draining

Why do you desire to be anxious?

Imagination takes
A hold

worry not my dear

I will never leave in spirit
I am always here with you
White  love inside my soul

Even if in body I must take some solace

Away from you right now

It's just the way I feel right now
Like we need some time
Some time to take 
To grow inside

I feel a complete detachment 

From your life

Your voice

Who you are in the here and now
Your anger hit me like a ton of bricks
Quick
Leaving bruises 
Wounds 
Little marks 
Upon my soul
A heavy hit
Some stuff
I didn't know you had
My own baggage 
In your
hit
Harder than I thought 
I deserved
But I'm not the one
meting out punishment
That is your job 
Your way of balancing the scales

I have my own doings going on

A lot of things to see

Got a lot of important things  

Going on right now

Of course I wish that all was well

I wish I knew this much was true

But what I see 

Is a lot judgement going on

Of other peoples

Goings on

I take pause as writing this

I know 

I 

don't 
want
to
hurt
you
anymore
Being careful what I say
Being cautious
No intent to harm
Things seem crazy
Right now
I know
It seems like forever
Since we haven't fought
Did we ever see eye to eye?
That must be it
You are elevated
High above
Where we would see each others vision
clear
You would have to step down
Look me in the eye
Way 
Down 
Here
I guess I haven't figured out
The things that you must know
Is the answer to judge other humans?
Tell them that they are evil
Far beneath
The enlightened
Shroud
You hide 
With each dose
Of judgement
Cast my way
Far above my head
Where you sit
Casting stones
Casting judgments
Throwing shit
You must feel huge
Way up there
Sitting on that rock
High up in the sky
The heavens must have opened up a place
Special
For you to sit 
Right there
Is that how you feel?
I don't know
I only know 
My own thoughts
My mistakes
My love 
My anger
My life
My force
I know I have to protect myself
From what 
I perceive
As harm
I must take cover
For myself
Away from this blustery
Storm
of Blame
It's too much
I don't want to absorb
The energy of dissent
I feel
When you are around
I'm sorry 
I just don't think i'm good for you
If you think time and time again
When I make a mistake
When I don't do what you want me to do
Sorry dear
I am an adult 
I am not going to do what you want all the time
I can't
You can't handle this?
Well maybe you are right
You are better off alone
Or with your true friends
Who don't intend to harm
I am who I am
This you cannot accept
Can't see past your own account
Of what happened
What happens
What was said
What was spent
I don't want to feel indebted
Or like I am responsible
Your an adult
You make your choices
You live with them
You die with them
They make you who you are
I cannot control this
I cannot keep letting you
take
Over
Can't let you 
beat me down
With your words 
From the monster 
\Living in your soul
I have my own demons to deal with
I have my own life to live
Like I said
Very busy
Doing stuff
For myself
My love
My life
My head