Continuity

When summer leaves,  leaves her scorn

 Burning  everything in her path 

Luminous and brilliant 

She controls all,  around her every being revolves

Purifying in her white light,  leaves nothing behind

Melting, burning she turns unyielding and unrelenting 

Cremating what's in her wake, she gives and takes

 Time comes anew..

Autumn, her skies grey, brings with her a time of giving

 Harvest season starting, plenty for all, our Mother gives

Light and warmth exudes from circle of light

Circle of all, our life depends 

 her earthy smells 

Algid air

Sunrise brilliantly lighting each cycle

Tangerine pink lights 

Spectacular, she just is 

 Hiding out behind the clouds, 

she peeks her eye

 Creating light in the sky
A show in the sky for all to see
Universally Perfect, she lights the way for us to live the life we do


Really hard, trying to emulate Robert Frost , it actually makes my head hurt trying.

Shit talking

In my view

You create

Hate

Dissension

Distaste

For yourself

You gorge

Fill yourself

Over 

Over Again

Full of sad

You pass yourself 

Off as light

Truth shines through

Out to get 

Others for there sins

Your own will catch you

Fast on your heels

Never catching up

Cannot catch a break

This I see

I SEE

When I look at your life

Your actions 

The shit you spread

Like an animal

Literally

The only communication you know

Is to 

scream 

Fling shit

What your past sins

Should be redeemed?

Not mine

This I see

What you put out 

To others

Is what's inside

Applies to me 

I know

Too

Not delusional

Fuck with me

You'll fuck yourself

Spread some more shit

Literally

Figuratively 

It doesn't matter

The manners you lack

The tact

The grace

Sorry you can't let go 

I have to though

The hurt you put on me

My heart can't take

It breaks 

When your filth 

Comes out

I can't watch

The road your on

I hope gets smoother

I don't hate you

I just don't like shit

Draining

Why do you desire to be anxious?

Imagination takes
A hold

worry not my dear

I will never leave in spirit
I am always here with you
White  love inside my soul

Even if in body I must take some solace

Away from you right now

It's just the way I feel right now
Like we need some time
Some time to take 
To grow inside

I feel a complete detachment 

From your life

Your voice

Who you are in the here and now
Your anger hit me like a ton of bricks
Quick
Leaving bruises 
Wounds 
Little marks 
Upon my soul
A heavy hit
Some stuff
I didn't know you had
My own baggage 
In your
hit
Harder than I thought 
I deserved
But I'm not the one
meting out punishment
That is your job 
Your way of balancing the scales

I have my own doings going on

A lot of things to see

Got a lot of important things  

Going on right now

Of course I wish that all was well

I wish I knew this much was true

But what I see 

Is a lot judgement going on

Of other peoples

Goings on

I take pause as writing this

I know 

I 

don't 
want
to
hurt
you
anymore
Being careful what I say
Being cautious
No intent to harm
Things seem crazy
Right now
I know
It seems like forever
Since we haven't fought
Did we ever see eye to eye?
That must be it
You are elevated
High above
Where we would see each others vision
clear
You would have to step down
Look me in the eye
Way 
Down 
Here
I guess I haven't figured out
The things that you must know
Is the answer to judge other humans?
Tell them that they are evil
Far beneath
The enlightened
Shroud
You hide 
With each dose
Of judgement
Cast my way
Far above my head
Where you sit
Casting stones
Casting judgments
Throwing shit
You must feel huge
Way up there
Sitting on that rock
High up in the sky
The heavens must have opened up a place
Special
For you to sit 
Right there
Is that how you feel?
I don't know
I only know 
My own thoughts
My mistakes
My love 
My anger
My life
My force
I know I have to protect myself
From what 
I perceive
As harm
I must take cover
For myself
Away from this blustery
Storm
of Blame
It's too much
I don't want to absorb
The energy of dissent
I feel
When you are around
I'm sorry 
I just don't think i'm good for you
If you think time and time again
When I make a mistake
When I don't do what you want me to do
Sorry dear
I am an adult 
I am not going to do what you want all the time
I can't
You can't handle this?
Well maybe you are right
You are better off alone
Or with your true friends
Who don't intend to harm
I am who I am
This you cannot accept
Can't see past your own account
Of what happened
What happens
What was said
What was spent
I don't want to feel indebted
Or like I am responsible
Your an adult
You make your choices
You live with them
You die with them
They make you who you are
I cannot control this
I cannot keep letting you
take
Over
Can't let you 
beat me down
With your words 
From the monster 
\Living in your soul
I have my own demons to deal with
I have my own life to live
Like I said
Very busy
Doing stuff
For myself
My love
My life
My head

GRAVE DIGGING

An ocean of tears

I lost

Today 

For a friend

Who doesn't know what it means

to be grateful

graceful

gentle

kind

Her heart is sad

Is ugly

Bitter

 Full of hate

((((It hurts to hear that...

especially when you know it's not true

Full of lies

Just to let you know

This is what you said to me

Plus more that isn't true

But then

It's not really true about you either...)))))

To herself

She made me cry

Until my heart

Was wrung

Dry

Like a cornhusk

Left in the sun

Emptied out

Nothing but air inside

(This is how much I have cried)

It made her feel better 

I guess

About herself

Maybe not

Who knows

At this point 

The reason 

For it has past

To expose my past

Acts

HERE YOU GO EVERYONE!!!

Full of scared little girl

Full of insecurity 

Void of light

Nothing good came from the initial act

No love 

Nothing good came from her

Bringing it back

This act was not proud

Not done in love

Dignity it lacked

A lot is lacking here I tell you

Namely LOVE

It only took more self worth

(I SHUDDER AT THE MEMORY)

It took more than it gave

All it gave me

(The one who was there, not her...who committed the act)

The act 

An act of intimacy

was void of love

Void of trust 

Had been voided

Zero Zero Zero 

Blinking across it

And how I felt about myself at the time

LIKE A ZERO

The act calls for

The feelings of warmth and love

Neither of those feelings  were felt that day

I know there is a reason for everything

The reasons sometimes we are unaware

The universe makes choices for us

I know

That we sometimes are unaware

I want to try to love her again

I really want to forgive

It's not her fault 

She is imperfect

But my heart

This time

It does not want to give

I feel like she took something

Private 

The cross I bore

A mistake I made

Then turned it into an act of anger

Her own

I could feel it in her words

I could feel HER HATE

She made it 

She took it and made it something

About her 

With her

All over it

When that it was not

Maybe I deserved this

Act

Of Hate and anger

A lesson I can learn here

And she can thank herself 

for this:

I will never tell another secret

From someone else's life

I know now the pain they felt

Violated 

Ive been raped by my own life

Not only did I have to remember

The sick feeling I felt inside

I cried I prayed

I apologized to myself

I apologized to God

I let that moment go a long time ago

I TOOK IT BACK

 WITH MY PRIDE

((((((((((Yes, I now Proudly Wear this Badge:=)))))))))

When I had to let go of a lot

GOD KNOWS  IT WASN'T AN EASY TIME FOR ME

Now I have to feel it 

Deep inside my heart

Tearing at me once again

Crying for that girl

I was 

That time

That time I did that

I thought that I had let it go

But lone behold there you are

Cheyanne

My dear old friend

BUT WHY ARE YOU YOU YOU HOLDING IT STILL?????

Waiting with it

To strike me in the soul

To remind me 

That there was a time

I didn't love myself

That self respect was lacking

Thanks for reminding me girl

That I acted like a disgusting

Whore

Drama

I never meant to make you bitch
I never meant to anger you
I never meant to say
Things
To
 set
 you
 off
BOOM
Like a sonic blast of bullshit
Drama ensues
Old
Shit
As dirt
We have said it all before
You sound like a BROKEN RECORD
with the same old hurts
with the same complaints
(you probably can't hear me through the sound of your own words)
About life
About love
About money
About health
Please....try and grow
(I do love you, you know )
Chorus
Verse
Chorus
Verse
I really don't care anymore
About the same complaints
And infractions against you
i've committed 
because im a shitty person
because I just don't care
(according to you)
Why don't I just kill you?
With all of things that I do wrong?
Blah Blah Blah Blah
I have heard it all before
I guess i'm jaded
Now
But in the past 
I have always tried
Ive cried
Argued
Screamed
Until my voice is exhausted
Until my soul
 is
Cold
I guess i'm icy
Without a feeling inside
(Black hearted)
Ive given you my reactions
Time and time again
The same complaints
About life
Love
Money
Sex
Trust
Disrespect
Whatever you feel is the problem
Inside your head
I know
It never gets better
It always gets worse
A thing never changes
 HELLO
You have to change it first
Inside of you
It sours
It get's old
Please forgive me if im not crying
Forgive me if I lack regret
Empathy
Can't feel it
Sorry
I guess
Happy Birthday
Whatever
It's all the same
When your words stem from drama
Drama is you

Great to be King

When you peg something
 Something you perceive
Something you decide
Is true
So true
It must be
Another point must not exist
You staked your claim
On one opinion
And on one opinion you are stuck
How immovable
Your thoughts must be
Hard as stone
Nothing gives
Not one sentence formed inside your head
With narrow slits you look
At others
Judging
Thinking they must not be as good as I
Snake like slits
You flit your tongue
To taste
To lick
To sit upon your grassy
Throne
King of the hill
The children cry
Run
To overthrow
Your way
Would be absurd
You know best
There is nothing you haven't heard
Not one area needs improvement
Perfect at everything
The way you look
You think
Looks divine
Why can't others see how
LOVELY
you've become
Can't they see how bright you shine
ME ME ME
Over and over
Like a bird that squaks
Incessantly
Hear my thoughts
Hear my opinion
SO what
You don't have one
at least not one that matters
All alone
In that liar's chair
Sit by yourself
Since that's the only voice you seem to hear

White

The hollow shell
You call self
Exists on ITSELF
On pretense
On lines
How to be whole?????
How to love?
How to feel that feeling
That warmth
Molten hot
GOLD
Inside your soul
That
Warm glow
You wish...
Would fill your shell
Your empty metal cage
Cold inside
You hide
From yourself
From the truth
What it really means to be
What does it mean to be real
PINOCCHIO
Your nose keeps getting longer
Longer and Longer oh my
See what happens to your life?
When you weave lie after lie???
I know you are full of light
White
and water
Let's not forget that
God made us from  all parts of the earth
From the sunlight inside our souls
To our bodies
Back to the earth
Back to rot
Become trees
Become rock
Become earth itself over time
No reason to lie
No reason to hide
We all end up somewhere
In the end
One place
Probably the same
SO just let it go
My little white
Light
Let it all go
Let yourself go
Forget what you said
You are who you are
Real as can be
Yes
If you wanted to be
But for now
Your a shell
Hollow
Really
Not Well