Ebb and Flow

The only flow
Is this
I know
Sometimes melancholy
Sometimes laughing
Lonely or not enough
Brain chemistry
Imbalance is tough
Take some pills
Mellow it out
Not for me
Who I am
I let it be
Manic
Happy
Depressed
Contemplative
Quiet
Free
Think too much
Turn it off
Get an outlet
For all the stuff
But put it where
storage of my mind
Too full already
Of memories
Inclinations
Ideas
Stuff to do
Sleep too much
Not enough
Can't have balance
Without the stuff
Shop too much
Not at all
Fill a void
Fill the hole
The whole
Meditate
Contemplate
Make sense of life
Quick
Figure it out
Before it's too late
Too much time
Not enough
Drive too fast
Eat too much
Not enough
Talk Talk Talk
Never better
This road is mine
Alone I walk
Convoluted thoughts
too much damage
Try to hide
But never lie
Let it all show
Who fucking cares
What's meant to be
Will be unveiled

Giving Thanks

As of late, I feel as if Life has been handing me blessings left and right.
I want to say "Thank you"
Thank you for putting people in my life who love to laugh as much as I do
Acceptance, for who people are.
New friends and old, coming together-Harmoniously, sharing a meal, an evening, a memory.
Thank you, for delivering kindness. For showing me how to be kind again.
For showing me that loving acts do exist
Romance is not dead.
Little things and big. SO many things to be thankful for
Food in my stomach
A safe place to live that has not been ravaged my hurricane, tornadoes, nuclear waste, fire.
A comfortable bed to sleep in at night
Parents who love there children enough to make wise decisions, my own and others.
Thank you for delivering Truth and Honesty into my life
For the warm feeling in my stomach.
Thank you life, for taking away my anger, for dissolving my hurt. For letting in the light and showing me happiness again.
Thank you for taking away my fear, fear that I would never feel worthy again. That I would wake up scared and alone.
Thank you

Who you choose to be

Wake up and realize
This
It doesn't happen
Changes in your mind
Happen gradually
Insight comes
Not like a light
A series of thoughts
Come together
Weave a tapestry
Realizing
Each and every way
That we are
Is who we choose to be
Don't blame mom
Circumstance
A lover who did damage
Only you know who you really are
Who you want to be
A conscience effort not to be
What truly matters
Is inside
Who you choose to be

Rubble

Sometimes life fulfilles your dreams
You didn't know you had
It taps you on the shoulder
It's okay
Gives you what you didn't ask for
But wanted anyway
Turn around and look around
Sometimes things seem blind
But really they can see
Just weren't looking hard enough
For reality
Takes a stronger person
To admit when they are wrong
Only then we learn
From our mistakes
From our storms
Made in anger
Taking everything in it's path
Leaving rubble
Nothing left
For the ones who
Projected it

Anger

Crazy Rage today
I thought it had gone away
Just laying in wait
For my thoughts to overtake
The feeling of hate
Never disipates
Just hibernates

Sometimes I wonder

Sometimes I wonder if I am wondering too much...about nothing.

Chance

Cherish your friends and the time you have with them on this earth.
We get one chance to spend time with the people we love
Don't waste it.
Don't leave the day to chance
Chance that they might be taken away
Embrace the day
Don't let another evening fade with thoughts of them on your mind, because you never know when it will be too late to let them know how you feel, how you care.